11/07/2013 19:26 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

Lindsay Lohan Glitters At Drink Launch, Fake Tan Situation: Critical

lindsay lohan

The last Lindsay Lohan news we heard was that she was having a scuffle with her mum in the back of a limo and accusing her of being on cocaine while her father recorded the conversation on the phone (and to be fair to Lindsay, who hasn't been in a similar situation?).

Anyway, now Lindsay's all "I lied. My mum's not on cocaine at all. P.S. Here's Mr Pink's Ginseng Drink!"

There's a lot we could say about this look. A lot. But we have other things to do that involve statistics and PowerPoint and twirling on our swivel chairs while discussing the high points of Gary Wilmot's career (true story) so we shall just focus on the fake tan.

Obviously, something has gone awry in the beauty arena when one's face and one's neck are completely different colours. Crayola's colour chart lists her face as a shade called "Melon" while the neck and chest are veering into "Big Foot Feet".

Perhaps you're an optimist? Perhaps you think the situation improves elsewhere? No. Not really. Although you could argue that there's something pleasantly wistful about the sunset effect of a golden thigh fading to a pallid ankle.