11/07/2013 16:49 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 06:12 BST

Made In Chelsea: There's A Bee In Francis' Bonnet Plus Jamie Gets Worried About Spenny

Newcomer Bee loves Barbados, but is she as keen on Proudlock and Francis? Also, Jamie's concerned about Spenny and Will Gore thinks he may have a point...

"So, what do you do?" An innocuous enough question and one I'm sure we've all had to reply to on numerous occasions over the years.

In the real world, the answers that follow it are never normally too exciting. I usually just mumble something about how I write sarcastic jokes about TV no-marks for a living. In the unreal world of Made in Chelsea things are a little different, however. A jaw dropping answer to a question of this kind of question is almost guaranteed.

francis boulle

Thus newcomer Bee, who met Proudlock and Francis at the Harrods Running Club (rumours abound that next week they'll be signing up for the Fortnum and Mason's dogging group), told the boys, "I do a bit of singing and play a bit of polo," before adding casually, "Barbados is my favourite".

Bee's answer might have made me hate the world and everything in it, but Francis's interest was piqued. He plays polo too! They're perfect for each other! Proudlock had other ideas though and the boys followed what they thought was a sensible plan, by both going on a date with her. Like rutting stags - if stags were weak, pathetic creatures – they did their utmost to outdo each other.

Bee and Boulle had a good laugh at the thought of Proudlock being delayed at the earring shop, but it wasn't all good news for Francis. Bee praised Proudlock for his "chiselled" features. Francis, being about as chiselled as a bowl of custard, went quiet at this point.

Yet it turned out that despite Proudlock's cheekbones and Boulle's polo playing, neither of the lads could quite cut it for Bee (short, as it turns out, for UnBeelievably Dull), and the three-person date experiment was over almost as soon as it had begun.

Across town there was another weird attempt at courting going on, when Binky presented Fran with three "eligible bachelors" to have a drink with. "How eligible are they?" asked Fran. Not at all, as it turned out.

Ollie was first up, and could immediately be discounted as boyfriend material for the simple reason that Fran is called Fran and not Frank. Then there was the one Oscar you'd never want to win. His main selling point, it was suggested, was his love of literature. The fact he couldn't name a single book or author didn't seem to impress Fran too much.

Finally there was floppy-haired Richard who immediately did for his chances by going on about an "underground bunker" that he claimed to be building somewhere in Chelsea. I'm no expert when it comes to dating, but I'm pretty sure that bringing up anything that might invoke Hitler, particularly as an icebreaker, is a big no-no.

The course of true love did at least run smooth for a couple of the Chelsea-ites this week. Spencer invited a select band to join him in Spain. At an all-inclusive two-star in Benidorm (or somewhere like that), Spenny contrived to persuade Lucy to dump her boyfriend Alex and fall back into his arms.

When they got back to London, the new couple were happy to flaunt their coupling around town, and suffice to say, not everyone was impressed. Andy and his nostrils waded in, while Phoebe-Rocket Salad gave Lucy what for.

Lucy and Spencer were able to bat away these doubters with ease, but when it came to Jamie it was a different matter. The chirpy blonde dumbbell was rather downbeat this week. "The hot-tub is my nemesis", he wailed at one point (funny, I thought that was simple arithmetic) and when it came to Spencer and Lucy he was decidedly pessimistic about their chances of making it past the series finale with their relationship intact.

Spencer was annoyed that his best mate was putting a downer on things, but like a stopped clock that tells the right time once a series, I think the old biscuit brain might be onto something. You get the feeling that deep down Spenny boi knows it too.

Read all the latest on Made In Chelsea here

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