11/07/2013 16:22 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 06:12 BST

The Only Way Is Essex: Marriage And The Meaning Of Easter

Questioning the meaning of Easter and what it's really all about? Don't worry! The TOWIE lot has got it covered, says Will Gore

If anyone dares to tell you that TOWIE does not deal with the important philosophical, moral and political dilemmas of our age then you have my permission to assume your finest Essex accent and mug them right off.

The opening of the latest episode was proof positive of the programme's intellectual depth. As Billie, Sam and Gemma decorated a mountain of chocolate eggs, they debated the real meaning of Easter.

sam jess disco

Sam had great confidence in her contribution to the discussion. "Jesus was resurrected on the cross and his mum sat with him until he died," she said. Gemma nodded in agreement. Billie just looked confused and asked, "What does resurrection mean?"

This scene, of course, raised the fundamental question, have religious festivals lost their meaning in our secular age? I hope Pope Francis wasn't watching via a hooky ITV2 link-up to the Vatican, because the answer, judging by The Gospel According to Sam, is a resounding yes.

At least the new Pope can take solace in the fact that marriage is at least one sacred ritual that is taken seriously in the county of Essex. Joey whisked Sam away from the rest of the gang, who were partying at a roller disco, to fly her off to Dubai where he'll be proposing to her just in time for the next episode.

He told Billie about his plans to become her new brother-in-law and she seemed genuinely delighted. Joey couldn't, however, bring himself to warn his own sister Frankie and cousin Chloe about the impending proposal. It's no great surprise. Over the last few weeks they've made it clear that they'd welcome Sam to their family like they would a hereditary disease.

Elsewhere, Jess and Ricky were also chatting marriage. They were on dodgy ground after the previous episode when they had discussed the possibility of getting hitched while sharing a dip in the tub.

As Jess memorably put it, "It got strange in the bath". No, Ricky hadn't followed through, but instead Jess found out her fella, who seems about as mature as a triangle of Dairylea, was less than enamoured at the prospect of settling down.

Last night, the pair came up with the winning formula for dealing with this mighty problem. They'd ignore it and sort it out at some point in the future. An excellent plan and one that seemed to work as they were soon chuckling away together, mocking Arg over his ambitions to star in musicals.

Arg gets a lot of stick but maybe one day he'll prove everyone wrong and establish himself as a leading man on the West End stage. As it's Easter, I'll suggest Jesus Christ Superstar as a possible star vehicle for him. Arg as the new Messiah, now there's a thought.