UPDATE: It's a fake. Darn.
Students from Bournemouth University were sent an indignant letter demanding they stop engaging in "personal" activities with Henry Hoovers.
The letter, sent out by an accommodation officer to students in Lyme Regis flats, and posted on the Bournemouth Uni Confessions Facebook page, read:
"It has recently come to our attention that many of the designated Henry vacuum cleaners placed on each floor have been absent for several days.
"Whilst we appreciate that there may be many explanations for this, it has been reported that certain students have been using the vacuum cleaners for personal reasons not related to cleaning.
"Due to the decontamination costs involved in removing bodily fluids from the hose, any student found to have used the communal vacuum cleaners for such activities face immediate fines of £75."
Read the letter in full below: