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10/12/2013 06:43 GMT | Updated 09/02/2014 05:59 GMT

'Made in Chelsea' Review Finds The Famous Five On Safari, With Crocodile Tears For Lucy Watson

For this week's episode of 'Made in Chelsea', the gang went a fair way further than their usual haunts, in fact all the way to Windsor Great Park, I mean, safari.

So what WERE the best things to happen when the famous five went to Africa, leaving Louise and Co to keep the home fires burning as best they could?

  1. The way everyone pretended to look surprised when Phoebe turned up at the airport to join in the overseas adventures
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  3. How, as soon as they arrived, Spencer and Phoebe turned into Glenn Close and John Malkovich in 'Dangerous Liaisons'.
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    Lucy gives in to her softer side, now she's not with Jamie OR Spencer - surely a time for champagne, not tears?

  5. Phoebe speaking without her lips moving, "I just didn't think there'd be a problem with me being here... with me being here with my ex-boyfriend, while they're still in their honeymoon period." I mean, where's the problem, people?
  6. Binky and Alex on their 'honeymoon period' - presumably the most boring honeymoon ever.
  7. Spencer, dressed in an orange polo shirt and a tan, almost disappearing on screen when he stood against the grasses.
  8. The bemused African singers witnessing Spencer/Jamie/Louise wittering on... "you've made this awkward"... "no, you've made it awkward"... "there's nothing awkward", and palpably wondering how to retune their dials to the World Service.
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    Five go mad on safari - having very similar 'conversations' to those they have in Knightsbridge

  10. Louise, Rosie, Fran and Co pretending they were having a good time in London, without the threat/promise of Spencer to bump into.
  11. Louise, Rosie, Fran and Co lasting three whole minutes at tea before wondering what was going on in South Africa.
  12. Andy managing to land on a girl in a nightclub and discovering - you'll never guess - that she had previously had a thing with Spencer. And she's called Vitalia. #Bondgirl
  13. "I guess there's no harm in going for a drink," she managed to make it sound like he would, in fact, be killed.
  14. Meanwhile, Mark Thomas giving Louise the benefit of his unique encouragement on her forthcoming gathering... "It won't be depressing," he promised her. "It'll be positively.... ghastly."
  15. Finally, who else? Francis telling Proudlock when to speak, when not to. "Now shut up, I'm painting your mouth." Which, to be fair, he was in this blatant attempt to recast Francis Boulle and his muse as a pair of homoerotic figures. Oscar Wilde, this is not.

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