03/04/2014 09:20 BST | Updated 03/04/2014 09:59 BST

Vladimir Putin's Divorce Finalised, Freeing Him To Marry Nigel Farage

Vladimir Putin's divorce from his wife Lyudmila has been finalised - paving the way for him to marry Ukip leader Nigel Farage.

Farage has been wooing Putin publicly for some days now - saying that he admires the hunky Russian's "operating" style and comparing him favourably to the "weak and vain" leaders of the EU.

Putin, meanwhile, has been playing his cards closer to his chest, failing to appear topless in the press over recent months. It is believed that the Russian president was waiting for his divorce to be finalised - and for the annexation of Crimea to be complete - before returning Farage's overtures publicly.

The pair are expected to wed after the European elections, in a private ceremony that will be followed by some sort of British weather disaster.