14/08/2014 12:50 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 06:12 BST

Do You Regret Having Children?

Do you regret having children?

It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

We spoke about it in-depth and made a conscious decision to go for it knowing that it would enrich our lives. Children are a blessing, right?

Don't get me wrong; it has had its benefits, we have had some wonderful moments but really if you sit down and write a list of pros and cons the cons seem to come out on top.

For example; a definite pro of having children is that overwhelming rush of love that consumes you the moment you give birth. It is indescribable, your whole body tingles with the sensation of sheer adoration as this tiny little being (or two in my case) steals your heart and soul relentlessly.

But then the cons begin. To be honest when you first sat cradling that little person did you allow your brain to forward track a couple of years?

Picture the scene: you are in Tesco, it is busy, hundreds of people fill the aisles looking for the best deals on milk, beans and cheese, the undercurrent of noise is present, the hum of the freezers, the clink of the wine bottles as they hit the trolley, the murmurings of shoppers reciting their lists.

Suddenly a scream that can pierce sound barriers emerges from the sweetie aisle. You knew you shouldn't have traveled that route but it was Great Auntie Marge's birthday and she loves her Liquorice Allsorts.

But the little bundle of joy you created two years before is having issues accepting the word 'no' and to demonstrate their unhappiness with the world they are currently body popping on their back down the aisle, grabbing at bags of Jelly Babies and sending packets of Maltesers flying through the air. The feeling of shame heats your body like a bunsen burner as you hear the gathering crowd whispering 'spoilt brat,' and 'just give her the sweets to stop that flipping noise.'


Nothing sticks in your memory like childbirth... except the memory of the first public tantrum.


Fast forward again, first day at nursery school. Pride inflates you like a helium balloon, as you take your little person who is filled with anticipation gently mixed up with a tiny bit of fear to the school gates, you pause to wipe away the sob that has been forming all morning.

As you leave them alone, clutching at the teacher's hand, you return to a quiet house and suddenly all you can think to do is look back through photo albums and post pictures of the morning's tremendous events to Facebook.

A truly momentous moment; one that is only matched in memory by the time you were called to collect your child from a school birthday party because they had an 'accident'.

Upon arrival at the party you discover that the mother was being discreet on the phone and actually the 'accident' was a bowel movement of tremendous proportions that had involved someone else's parent picking up your child's pebbles from the floor.

You remember the warm fuzzy feeling of excitement when they took their first steps, and I presume you also recall the first time they used those legs to run away from you in anger.

The first time they said they loved you? And oh yes, the first time they said they hated you and left a door slam stinging in your face.

The first time they kissed you? Quickly followed by the first time they weed on you during a nappy change.

Pros and cons, people, pros and cons.

So really in reflection if you really wanted to make an objective decision on having children you may want to read this first, to know all the facts. Odds are you would probably come to the same decision, since it seems no matter how bad the cons are, how much they can shame you and break your heart, the all-consuming feeling of love remains and seems to leave most of us going back for more.

Bloody fools we are!

Jane is a working Mum of three and has great hair. One of these things may not be true.

Blogs at: Northern Mum
Twitter: @JaneBlackmore