14/08/2014 16:36 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

Halloween Costumes &Amp; Girls: It's A Weird Thing

Thanks to all the stuff from last week's date being forgotten, I was invited round to my new acquaintance's house for a Halloween party.

The idea of going alone to something like this is the scariest thing in the world. Probably because of those practical joke costume parties where one person goes along dressed up and everyone laughs at them. I really didn't want that to be me.

I didn't have the time to put something together properly so I went as a rabbit. No a trite Playboy bunny though, I wore a grey angora jumper with some ears on a hairband and a lipstick liner nose.

Compared to everyone else, my costume was technically unimpressive. So what were all the other girls wearing? Here's a rundown (please note: parts of this might sound like I'm being bitchy but that's only because bitchiness is exactly what's going on.)

Ah, nature's bandit. Racoon girl wore a tight, short dress with a mask and tail. Classic. When I introduced myself she scowled at me, didn't say anything in return but continued to put loads of slices of the pizza in her handbag. This is when I realised how drunk she was.

School girls
There was a group of three or four of them and I have to say I don't really get this costume - it never looks amazing. Wear something that makes you feel sexy. Don't think "what do men like? School girls? I'm going to dress as that!". Also, if you're not actually a schoolgirl, nothing makes you look older than being dressed as one.

Roy Lichtenstein
My date's "best female friend" (we all know that instant pressure, right?). Clever facepaint made her look like a pop art print. She claimed to not be very well so lay on the sofa the entire night and looked truly, impressively unapproachable. The teardrop painted on her cheek didn't help things.

Cat Woman
This cute, geeky girl was very sweet but had such a raunchy costume on (welcome back, wet look leggings) it was hard to work out what was going on. Regardless, I'm going to get myself a full head cat mask to wear around the house.

RAF Pilot
I got on really well with this girl. She asked who I knew there and I had to tell her I was on a date. In turn, she told me she goes on loads of online dates and you should never put too much pressure on them. Having someone in full uniform advise you on your relationship status is incredible, by the way.

Actually, speaking to the pilot made me think about how casual it really was. Considering I broke up with someone only a few weeks ago, I decided not to stay over. When I got home I was lying in bed - room spinning from the dregs I'd been drinking (Jack Daniels and milk, I think) - I tried to remember what it was like to not just be with someone for the sake of it. Then must've just fell asleep.
Next morning, I found a text from my ex:

"Why did you phone me last night?"....Shit.

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