03/10/2014 06:48 BST | Updated 03/10/2014 06:59 BST

Meet 'The Handie': The New Male Sex Toy That Will Help... Erm... Finish You Off

Ladies and gentlemen (but mainly gentlemen), we'd like to introduce you to a new male sex toy: The Handie.

And let us tell you now, it does exactly what it says on the tin.

It offers a helping hand to, well... finish you off.

Proudly marketed as "the world's first all-in-one finishing tool for men", The Handie has all of the mod cons: a self-lubrication system, a vibrator and (handily) a good bit of grip.

But that's not our favourite part. Made from food-grade silicone it's super efficient to clean afterwards.

"It's as easy as push, flush and wash. You're done." Cringe.

It might be in crowdfunding stages now, but $69,000 later and this helpful (albeit hideous) little bedroom tool could be coming to a hand near you...

[H/T Metro]