Ok, so there are far more people than this you should be following on Twitter, but this is a start...
Occupation: Adored national frustration
Why you should follow them: If you're English you have no excuse
Name: The CIA
We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.— CIA (@CIA) June 6, 2014
Why you should follow them: Because they're already following you, one way or another
Name: Theo Walcott
I know I said I wasn't gonna join twitter .........I changed my mind!— Theo Walcott (@theowalcott) May 28, 2014
Why you should follow them: When he's not injured he's bloody talented
Name: Lupita Nyong'o
2014's Best Supporting Actress Academy Award Winner: LUPITA NYONG'O!! -TeamMarch 3, 2014
Why you should follow them: A superb acting talent taking the world by storm
Name: Jo Froggat
@rupert_evans Hi lv! This is my first tweet, I'll get the hang of it soon! Hope you're well. X— Joanne Froggatt (@JoFroggatt) April 22, 2014
Why you should follow them: One of the best things in your favourite show
Name: Susie Dent
Occupation: "That woman in Dictionary Corner"
Why you should follow them: A font of lexical knowledge
Name: Robert Downey Jr
Talk to me, Twitter. pic.twitter.com/7skFm6Ffhn— Robert Downey Jr (@RobertDowneyJr) April 11, 2014
Why you should follow them: Why wouldn't you follow one of the coolest guys on the planet?
Name: Geoffrey Boycott
Occupation: Cricket commentator
Why you should follow them: If you like cricket, you like Geoffrey Boycott
Name: Rashtrapati Bhavan
Occupation: President of India
Why you should follow them: The leader of 1.2 billion people deserves to be listened to
Name: Tess Daly
Hello Fellow Tweeters! It feels good to (finally) join the party! #betterlatethannever— Tess Daly (@TessDaly) March 20, 2014
Occupation: TV presenter
Why you should follow them: She's one of the nation's favourites
The funny people
Name: Moose Allain
Occupation: "Artist, etc. Dogsbody, but human head. Peripheral visionary. Pest."
I'm not a racist but I do think immigrants are responsible for a lot of the rich, vibrant, dazzling variety of our nation's cultural life.— Moose Allain (@MooseAllain) August 12, 2013
Occupation: "small nervous man"
-The name's Bond. James Bond.
-I've written Bond now.
-Oh. Can you change it or is it too late?
-When your coffee's ready they'll call Bond— Keri (@kerihw) July 4, 2014
Name: Tom Jamieson
Occupation: Staff writer Private Eye. Dead Ringers R4.
UKIP - not so much a political party, more a League of Gentlemen sketch that got out of hand.— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) October 20, 2014
Name: Paul Bassett Davies
Occupation: "Writer in residence, at my house."
Rebekah Brooks thanks the judge, and reminds him his wife phoned, his dry cleaning is ready and he’s got a prostate exam tomorrow.— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) June 24, 2014
Occupation: "General twat. Founder and editor of the @FlamingTrilby website."
Occupation: "Temporary joke wrangler to the stars"
Benedict Cumberbatch walks into a bar.
Barman says 'Why the long face?'
'Genetics', he sobs, and then I comfort him, sexually.— Scriblit (@Scriblit) April 13, 2013
Name: The Bath Bird
Occupation: "Very sweary atheist. 3 kids, 2 dogs, 1 husband. They all cramp my style."
My 10yo has split up with his girlfriend. Apparently she was just "totally obsessed with pretending to be a horse at lunch time".— The Bath Bird (@TheBathBird) April 23, 2012
Occupation: "Mum of 2. Wife of 1. Lover of wine."
Name: Eliza Bayne
Occupation: "I make stuff."
There's no I in anxiety. Wait. Yes there is. Oh my god oh my god oh my god— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) January 6, 2013
Occupation: Sucking tuna out of a bomber jacket.
Boris Johnson just said that "foxes look cuddly, but they're a dangerous menace". You can talk you fucking berk. @MayorofLondon— GusTheFox (@GusTheFox) February 11, 2013
Name: Stella Creasy
Occupation: Labour and Co-operative MP for Walthamstow
Name: General Boles
Occupation: "Parody Minister of State for (Photoshop) Skills."
Name: Karl Sharro
Occupation: "Architect, joker, blogger and extremely bad cartoonist"
What a weird world we live in. Before you can watch a jihadi video from Syria, you have to watch a 30-second X-box ad.— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) June 29, 2014
Name: Ed Balls
Occupation: Labour and Co-operative MP for Morley & Outwood and Shadow Chancellor
Name: Tom Watson
Occupation: Member of Parliament for West Bromwich East
Name: Jonathan Portes
Occupation: Director, National Institute of Economic and Social Research
Name: Gawain Towler
Occupation: Ukip spinner, possibly the hardest job in the world
New race row as UKIP candidate overheard saying he could 'murder an Italian' outside Pizza Hut #desperateukipheadlines— Gawain Towler (@GawainTowler) May 20, 2014
Name: Primly Stable
Occupation: "Purveyor of 'world-class snark' since 2010"
LEFT: MPs debating giving free kittens to orphans. RIGHT: MPs debating letting MPs eat kittens. Please RT pic.twitter.com/eVkr3hUYg3— Primly Stable (@PrimlyStable) November 24, 2014
Name: Peter Mannion 'MP'
Occupation: Top notch parody
Name: Michael Fabricant
Occupation: MP dude for Lichfield
BBC's Nick Robinson says Labour Party's new policy on Europe is "constructive ambiguity". I think that means "bollocks" in Anglo-Saxon.— Michael Fabricant (@Mike_Fabricant) March 12, 2014
Name: James Blunt
Occupation: Singer, surprisingly funny man and king of putdowns
And finishes in your mouth. RT @trimjim90: James Blunt gets on my tits.— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) February 21, 2014
Name: Jemima Kirke
Exactly 2 yrs ago, 11:30 am, I was screaming for my life while trying to push a basketball out of my ass. Happy birthday my sweet Memphis.— Jemima Kirke (@jemimakirke) November 19, 2014
Name: Steph and Dom
Occupation: Tipsy Goggleboxers
Name: Chelsea Handler
Occupation: Comedian, TV personality and Author
Taking this down is sexist. I have every right to show I have a better body than Putin. pic.twitter.com/SFih1Aa17x— Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) October 31, 2014
Name: Jimmy Bullard
Occupation: Former footballer and 'I'm a Celebrity' evictee
Occupation: 'Made in Chelsea' star
Oh please, your #outfitoftheday looks like my outfit of the maid.— Mark-Francis (@MarkVandelli) September 4, 2014
Name: Emma Watson
Occupation: British actress, Goodwill Ambassador for UN Women
Even worse than seeing women's privacy violated on social media is reading the accompanying comments that show such a lack of empathy.— Emma Watson (@EmWatson) September 1, 2014
And 10 delightful randoms...
Name: Drawn Your Tweet
Occupation: "Randomly(ish) inking your tweets."
Name: Curiosity Rover
Occupation: To rove the surface of Mars
Name: Shit London
Occupation: Pointing out shit stuff in London
Fox hiding in a flower stall at London Bridge. 4 policemen on the case. Someone just bought it some ham. Anarchy. pic.twitter.com/X1TGijQg44— Shit London (@shitlondon) December 11, 2014
Name: Lazlo Shunt
I've been invited to an ISIS dubstep night over in Hackney tonight, but I hate Hackney. Too obvious.— Lazlo Shunt (@Lazlo_Shunt) October 8, 2014
Name: The Media Blog
Occupation: "Covering the good, the bad & the ugly of the media"
Today's Mail on Sunday front page explained... pic.twitter.com/zRdSJocWjM— The Media Blog (@TheMediaTweets) August 3, 2014
Name: Shit Pundits Say
Occupation: Destroyer of pundits
It's getting intense at Tottenham pic.twitter.com/ZpvJXZBalX— Shit Pundits Say (@Shit_PunditsSay) September 1, 2014
Name: Boring James Milner
Occupation: James Milner parody
I said to Gerrard It was just like watching Liverpool when you set up Suarez. He said This really isn't the time for Jokes, James. I said Ok— Boring James Milner (@BoringMilner) June 19, 2014
Name: Vice Is Hip
Occupation: Vice parody
"It's our ball" - Why Brazil cancelled the rest of the World Cup— VICE (@Vice_Is_Hip) July 8, 2014
Name: Doctor Pug
Occupation: Medical Dog providing heals and feels with his expertise and #Pugscriptions.
health tip if u hav a frownie eats a brownie— Doctor Pug (@DoctorPug) August 14, 2013