23/01/2015 02:37 GMT | Updated 23/01/2015 02:59 GMT

Strictly's Camilla Dallerup: ‘Losing Brendan Cole To Natasha Kaplinsky Was Like A Mini Death'

Strictly Come Dancing’ professional dancer Camilla Dallerup has revealed she was so hurt when she lost her fiancé Brendan Cole to newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky that it ‘felt like a mini death’.

Brendan became close to Natasha when they were paired off during the very first series of ‘Strictly’, which they eventually went on to win back in 2004.

Camilla Dallerup

In her new book, part autobiography and part self-help manual, Camilla describes the agony she went through as she lost her partner of eight years to Natasha.

“We were together 24:7 for eight years,” she says. “We were so close, I used to feel that I didn’t know where I ended and he began. Living and dancing together, we were so much one and the same person, with one bank account, one phone, one email address.”

“Brendan had been over the moon when he’d been paired with Natasha. It’s no understatement to say that he literally skipped through the door when he came home that day.

“Looking back now, something in me died that day. To be honest, that was the moment I lost the Brendan I thought I knew so well.

“He’d lost interest in me. He was more than happy, though, to get up in the morning to watch Natasha reading the news!’

Brendan Cole and Camilla Dallerup

Interestingly, at no point in the book does Camilla mention Natasha by name, which she admits was deliberate.

“First of all, this is not a kiss ’n’ tell book,” she explains. “It’s a book for anyone going through a hideous time: they might be being teased at school, being bullied at work.”

Brendan and Natasha in 2014

It took her three years to get over Brendan, describing it as similar to mourning a death.

“It was like a mini death,” she says. “You go through the arc of grief, anger, bitterness. My best friend and dancing professionally with Brendan had both gone. That felt pretty scary. It seemed like everything I’d ever wanted and worked for had been removed, just like that.

“I’m totally fine with [Natasha]. What happened, happened. It could have been anybody. Anyway, it would be very hard to carry on if I didn’t forgive. Show business is a small world.”

Brendan Cole has since responded to Camilla's comments about the breakdown of their relationship.

He said: “It's nothing really new to me. It was a long time a go, I'm happily married with a child, so is she, she's a married woman. I live now, not ten years ago.”

'Strictly Inspirational' is published by Watkins Publishing at £14.99.

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