A statistician has finally found a scientific way to calculate something we've always wondered about - who would be safe in the event of a zombie apocalypse?
This isn't a joke. He's presenting his findings in front of the American Physical Society this week.
Speaking to the Washington Post, stats wizard and zombie enthusiast Alexander A. Allemi pointed out that his program isn't too different from the way virologists predict the spread of actual diseases.
The program, titled 'Zombietown USA', only covers the United States mainland, but allows the user to discover how quickly the zombie infection would spread based on different changeable factors (bite-to-kill ratio and inter-cell propagation speed).
The bite-to-kill ratio concerns how often a person would kill a zombie compared with how often a zombie would infect a human.
Because "transportation would likely break down in an outbreak" population numbers are fixed in the simulation, cutting out the chance of people escaping a city.
Just like in the movies, the densely populated areas are the first to fall to the undead and the safest place is in quiet village towns.
"It would be a situation where you’re watching chaos on television, but where you are everything would remain unchanged."
But it wouldn't save you forever, he warns. The zombie apocalypse is inevitable and will eventually claim every living human.
Y'know, if it was biologically or physically possible.
Which it probably isn't.
Best states for avoiding the zombie apocalypse:
Worst states for avoiding the zombie apocalypse: