It's hard having an awesome beard. Here are some of the undocumented struggles of epic facial hair:
1. Having a barbecue is basically out of the question.
2. So is having children.
3. There's all the questions you need to deal with.
4. You can't drink Guinness without it being the main talking point of the evening.
5. Or eat ice cream.
6. Or go out in the cold, ever.
7. It's impossible to hide a spillage gracefully.
8. CRUMBS.
9. Even something as simple as blowing your nose is a total minefield.
10. And can you eat cupcakes, the source of all the world's happiness? No chance.
11. Your ID looks nothing like you.
12. But that doesn't matter because your beard ages you so much you won't need ID. Ever.
13. Working in the food service industry isn't really an option.
14. But at least you could get a job at the local airport as a windsock.
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