Mars is not a very hospitable place. Regardless of how beautiful it looks, the fact remains that unless you're a two-tonne research robot, enjoying the red planet is going to be somewhat difficult without billions of dollars of equipment.
Just how difficult though? Say for example you've woken up after a big night at the local taverna and found yourself naked, miles from your base of operations and left with an enormous cloud of regret hanging over you. How long would you survive?
The fact you've survived long enough to even make these assessments is frankly astonishing, and that's for a number of reasons: It's really cold, there's almost no air (4 per cent oxygen is just not enough) and your body is almost certainly glowing from lack of radiation protection.