Boris Johnson Purchases Three Slightly Used Terminator Units For London Riot Control

Boris Johnson Reverts To Riot Control Plan B After His Water Cannon Are Scuppered

Scuppered by the Home Secretary's refusal to let him use the water cannon he already bought, Boris Johnson has purchased three slightly used Terminator T-800 units which he says he will be able to use because they "aren't illegal yet".

The Mayor of London unveiled the models at City Hall on Wednesday afternoon, although proceedings were halted when one escaped mumbling about a woman named Sarah.

Johnson went on to tell reporters how he hoped Theresa May would approve of these models after she shot down his water cannon concept.

May's main reasons for banning the water cannon included their poor manoeuvrability, the age of the models and the likelihood of collateral damage, all of which the Mayor hopes to avoid with the new Terminators.

"The truly excellent chaps at SkyNet were offering them cheap," Johnson said. "I thought it best to buy them while they were such a jolly good price."

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