If ever we needed proof that we should put our phones down and pay attention to loved ones more, this is it.
Distractify asked a handful of couples to describe their significant other to a police sketch artist.
And the results are hilarious.
The sketch artist starts by individually asking women what their other halves look like.
One responds: "Like if you took Ryan Gosling and just made him a little more tired."
While another adds: "He's got long hair and a beard, like a magician. At the bottom it kind of curls up, like a little woop-de-doo." (Sorry, what?)
Another woman describes her boyfriend's hairstyle as being "kinda like Elvis if he didn't brush his hair".
Meanwhile the use of descriptive words from the male camp is slightly more limited.
"Her face is like an upside down egg," says one guy, about his girlfriend.
When the sketch artist asks another to describe his girlfriend's lips, he simply screws up his face.
Another guy describes his girlfriend's nose as having nostrils that "fan out a bit".
But the most genius - and probably most offensive - description comes from a ponytail-clad dude who says that his girlfriend's face looks: "Very sweet-looking, but with underlying evil and anger.
"She sort of scares you a little bit," he adds, before driving the nail into the coffee by stating that she's "like a poor man's Eva Mendes".