Loose Women star Katie Price has announced she is taking a break from the show to concentrate on her marriage.
The former glamour model has recently been publicising her latest autobiography, in which she details her husband Kieran Hayler's affair with her best friend while she was pregnant, and she said this has re-opened old wounds that she is taking time to heal.
She told the Loose Women panellists: "It's been awful, I thought I had dealt with it, but I had just had babies and was concentrating on my babies. I was numb.
"I'm good at putting up a defence, but it's something I don't want to relive again - it's been awful, torture."
She added: "I haven't got any tears to cry, my heart is shattered, it's broken."
Price said she and her husband would be going back to therapy and going away with their children to spend time as a family.
"I'm going away with Kieran on a belated honeymoon and to spend time with the kids. I want to help Kieran through this as well. It's been tough on us both. It's been turbulent," Price said.
She denied her new breast implants were anything to do with her new book, but said she did feel insecure that her friend was slim while she was heavily pregnant.
She said: "I am insecure, I am vulnerable. It's kind of a relief to me to admit I'm not as strong as people think, I have to put a barrier up."
The show also aired a video message Hayler had recorded for his wife, in which he said: "I love you and I'm so proud of you and I support you through everything."
Price told the panel: "I will never forgive him and I will never forget, but I will learn to deal with it.
"Me and Kieran are absolutely fine, we are not splitting up, but it's been hard."