Choosing a name can be one of the more frustrating parts of preparing for a new baby. The options are seemingly infinite, and you want to make sure you get it right.
You may think you’ve found a great option ... until you remember that awful kid from middle school who had that name. Or maybe your cousin already used that name for her pet hamster. And, of course, everyone else wants to share their opinion.
Here are 33 hilarious tweets about the struggle of choosing a name for your new spawn.
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) June 5, 2014
Was just pitched an app designed to tell you exactly what to name your baby. Like we don't have mothers-in-law for that.
— Liz Gumbinner (@Mom101) May 31, 2017
4yo: We should name the new baby Woody Woodpecker.
Me: Well, um, that's very interes-
4yo: Then we could call him Pecker for short.
Me:...
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) April 28, 2015
Wonder how long it'll take for my pregnant friend to realize that the list of baby name ideas I'm giving her are all just types of lettuce?
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) May 3, 2017
Who wants a stupid name like Apple for their baby?
Lovingly decides my food-baby will be Tiramisu.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) January 6, 2017
Naming a kid is such a RIDICULOUS FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY
“Hi what’s your name?”
Oh just some random associations my stressed-out parents desperately settled into like a week before I was born and stuck me with for the rest of my life
— Dave Learns Dadding (@DaveLearnsToDad) January 28, 2018
Be sure to keep your baby's name a secret during your pregnancy so we can all be completely blown away when you name him Aiden.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) January 12, 2017
When choosing a baby name, first try YELLING IT AND TYPING IT IN CAPS LOCK A BUNCH OF GODDAMN TIMES to see if you still like it.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) May 25, 2014
The different stages of choosing a name for your baby. pic.twitter.com/Sd0TyCaeEu
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 3, 2015
Good morning to everyone except parents who put an unnecessary Y in their baby's name
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) December 24, 2017
the most subversive cultural thing you can do is name your baby "Jen"
— maura "are jack and biz nazis?" quint (@behindyourback) December 7, 2015
Man, these days you really have to brace yourself before asking someone their baby's name
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) March 14, 2016
Calm down, people posting dramatic, pregnancy-related teasers on Facebook. It's a baby name. Not a Game of Thrones spoiler.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 1, 2016
We FINALLY agreed on a baby name. I went to search to see how popular it is... Ranked #3 for most popular baby names of 2018. 🙄 #backtothedrawingboard
— Jennifer Borget (@JenniferBorget) March 5, 2018
The best way to name a baby is to imagine them as a Kurt Russell character
— dadpression (@Dadpression) May 30, 2016
I think the worst name you could give a baby is the exact same name as their twin.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) August 15, 2015
Picking a baby’s name is really stressful.
👱🏼♂️ Olivia? Daphne?
🤰🏻 Agh I don’t know
👱🏼♂️ UHH *panics* DORPHNE?
*twenty years later*
🧔🏽 Hi what’s your name?
👱🏻♀️ *sigh* Dalphinkle
— Dave Learns Dadding (@DaveLearnsToDad) February 1, 2018
Babies are being named after "Game of Thrones" characters? What parents would name a baby after a sword wielding, mythological character?
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) April 20, 2014
Me: What should we name the new baby?
4-year-old daughter: Maggie.
Me: What if we have a boy?
4-year-old: Optimus Prime.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 7, 2015
Expectant parents, think you've got a baby name? Go to a kid's soccer game & shout it 89 times. If no one throws a rock at ur head, ur good.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) May 3, 2017
Parents of 3 or more kids always seem to run out of steam after #2 when it comes to choosing a name which is why I'm starting my business: Let Me Name Your Third Baby For You.
— Claire Zulkey (@Zulkey) January 18, 2018
If you name your baby Agnes she's your mother now.
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) June 2, 2017
[wife crosses out another baby name off the list]
What? What's wrong with Carlos Danger Grenades?
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) July 29, 2015
I'm sorry you told me your baby name ideas and I burst out laughing because I honestly thought you were fucking with me.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 27, 2015
Kate doesn’t have a name for the baby yet. It’s too bad after getting pregnant there wasn’t a 40-week wait when she could’ve thought of one.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 24, 2013
What baby name means fire-spitting tornado of defiance?
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) April 14, 2017
It's crazy how if you name your baby Brett he instantly becomes 89% more likely to grow up and be the guy that drops the weights in the gym.
— Babies Daddy (@dshack8) May 19, 2017
When choosing your baby’s name, practice saying it with different inflections. Coo it sweetly. Call it sternly. Snarl it so that it drips with the venom of a thousand cobras.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 21, 2018
In ten years the most popular baby name for a boy will be Maeysun and the most popular name for girls will be Madysin-kenzee.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 13, 2017
I asked Twitter to pick a name for my baby.
Twitter chose Waffle.
This place is full of assholes.
I love you all.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) November 3, 2015
Don’t name your baby Kathy unless you want her to immediately start organizing a potluck
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) February 25, 2014
7 helpfully offered up "Buttcheeks" as a name for the new baby...outstanding.
— Sara (@smilely_gal) April 16, 2013
4yo: What's the baby's name?
Me: Henry.
4yo: That's not a good name for a baby.
Me: Oh? What IS a good name for a baby?
4yo: Fence.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 28, 2014