11/10/2016 09:39 BST | Updated 08/10/2017 06:12 BST

Humanxiety - The Human Illness

Humanxiety - the human illness

The man infront of me cried unashamedly, yet slightly uncomfortable with this new expression. I wondered how many times he had he cried in this way before.

The answer was offered instantly. Had he read my mind?

"I'm not used to this. I can't remember the last time I cried"

This was a forty-five year old man who had been carrying the burden of past hurts and disappointments since childhood climaxing in him being diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

He was referred to me by a former client who came along, as he too was suffering from anxiety and depression.

Our first session took his history. It became clear that this was a person who was suffering from HUMANXIETY - The human Illness.

A successful business owner, formerly an account director in a large plc, he had been pushing down feelings of hurt, rejection, apparent failure (since his parents split as a child). He chose to blame himself for their hurtful parting and ingested all the pain and trauma only for them to fester and manifest in anxiety.

I choose to call it separation. Separation from our wholeself!

Let me explain:

Can you remember a time when you were really happy and everything flowed in your life? Maybe it was when you fell in love or got your dream job.

You woke up feeling bright and positive at the promise of the day ahead and as a result you looked great. Your positive shiney energy attracted other great opportunities and life was good.

This was a time in your life when you were aligned to your own personal values, feeling whole and complete. You and your wholeself were acting as a team and it showed by your demeanour and the opportunities this partnership created.

Your wholeself is what you are made up of in your human state:

• Your physical aspect - that's your, body the shell in which you reside.

• Your mental Aspect - how you think and what you believe in, including the beliefs that have been imprinted in you from parents, society etc.

• Your emotional Aspect - How you feel and respond to people and situations. Happiness, anger, jealousy, love, compassion...

• Your spiritual Aspect - Your connection to yourself and others. Knowing or feeling that there is 'more to this life' consciously or unconsciously.

When you are feeling happy, whole and connected you are in balance and harmony prevails, but when you omit to access some aspects of yourself, you may begin to feel restless, uneasy or even anxious. If you ignore this feeling, yes I've said it again the 'f' word; FEELING, you fuel the anxiety so it grows until it renders you hopeless, scared and devoid of all purpose.

It may present itself as a feeling, knowing or smouldering awareness that 'something is missing from your life', or maybe you shout, swear and react more than 'normal'.

You my love are slowly disappearing in to the fog of separation, fear creating humanxiety and even depression!

You love your partner but just can't quite connect like you used to. Sex is used for a physical release not as an expression of love and connection for you both. You don't even recognise her when she looks at you pleadingly for 'the answer' to this state of sole -ness.

You are physically fit, on the ball mentally but feel numb; "heck what does it matter that I don't feel? It's not important!" I hear you say.

Yes it is!

It's showing you that you are becoming dis- jointed, fragmented like a huge mirror thrown to the ground. Smashing shards of glass mixed with splinters and rays of light. No longer its glorious self.

We are urged in business to network, social media encourages you to add more followers, my you must be popular! Connect, connect, connect means you are more visible, successful, popular and liked.

Nah! This is the current time's form of bullshit.

You are not connected, come on put your phone down when you eat a meal, turn off the TV, ask your kids how their day has been with interest and focus.

We, as a society have conned ourselves long enough. Technology may connect you to Barbara in Illinois, Sky TV allows you to watch the boxing in another time zone but we are all becoming more and more separate from ourselves ( our wholeself) and each other.

What can you do about it?

Be kind to you. Use the end of your day to reflect on you and your day; how you felt, the joys and the lows, what you have learned. Speak with intent to your loved ones and be present whilst you listen.

Use the power of touch to soothe and connect.

Put down the mobile, the remote and the takeaway and look into your eyes in your mirror.

Do you like what you see?

Do you even recognise who's looking back at ya?

It is my purpose of messenger to awaken you to you and your senses. You are a living being. Please acknowledge your current state of connection or separation.

Acknowledgement is the first step to re connection and re alignment to YOU.

Talk to me, a friend, a trusted companion, a mentor or recommended Counsellor.

There is so much more to life than this. Cross my heart xx

Disclaimer: the example used is a mixture of clients I have worked with and not anyone in particular.

@All Rights reserved. Alison Ward. The Life Guidance Mentor.

Offering Intuitive Guidance and Practical Solutions to Bring You Back To YOU.