13/09/2016 10:07 BST | Updated 13/09/2017 06:12 BST

14 Inevitabilities Girls Face Working The West End's Nightlife


Credit: Sebastian Bednarski

1. You become nocturnal.

2. You will get hit on by footballers. Constantly.

3. You will make a lot of bizarre, temporary friendships with work colleagues that'll be amazing while they last but quickly forgotten.

4. You begin to live on your phone doing table bookings for people that inevitably waste your time.

5. You know the words to songs you hate because you hear them every, single, day.

6. Your feet turn to rock from wearing high heels every, single, day.

7. You slowly begin to feel old as the average age of club goers seems to be 13.

8. You'll still get the odd promoter inbox you saying 'Hi, i'm hosting at ***** if you'd like to come with your girlfriends I can arrange for you to have complimentary cheap vodka and cranberry juice on my table ready for the bladder infection i'm going to try and give you to stay on my list.'

9. You'll become a champagne snob and only like the taste of Crystal.

10. Creepy 'rich' men you hardly know (with pixelated profile pictures, wearing sunglasses, stood infront of a supercar, with a bad grasp of English) presume you must dying to to for dinner with them and can't comprehend 'no' as an answer.

11. You will really, really struggle to find a decent boyfriend. (I got a fiancé so far removed from the industry it's comical).

12. You're friends without a clue will think you have a fun, glamorous job. You don't.

13. You will be in fancy dress more than the average person.

14. Your time on social media is largely spend removing tags.