24/05/2012 04:50 BST | Updated 23/07/2012 06:12 BST

Lipgoss: Naomi Campbell's Biblical Birthday Party

Wasting my life on pop culture blogs and gossip sites, so you don't have to.

This week we bring you the news that Naomi Campbell has celebrated her birthday in Bethlehem. That's right. Like JESUS.

As the Associated Press report, the renowned phone-flinger and model marked her 42nd birthday with a trip to the birthplace of Jesus. Messiah complex, much?

The birthday girl generously took time out to offer the the "troubled Middle East" some words of advice about controlling its temper. "Weapons and war, greed and oil... I hope it all stops. I care about health, about good vibrations, not destruction."

Ha! Try telling that to phones. Or assistants. Major props to the Middle East for not snorting with incredulous laughter at this, but then again, they might have been too scared: "She requested anonymity, because Palestinian officials threatened to punish people speaking to reporters."

Peace out. I can just feel the good vibes from here!

Adding to the general aura of zen-like calm, Campbell was "flanked by Palestinian guards and her own private security detail", who escorted her to the Casa Nova Palace restaurant for a slap-up meal of lamb and rice.

However, amidst the vanquished reporters, the starstruck soldiers, the browbeaten assistants and the cowed waiting staff, there was a solitary voice of rebellion at the downright weirdness of this entire episode: "Outside, a small, shaggy black dog whom the employees called "shekel," the name of Israel's currency, barked at mustachioed plainclothes Palestinian security officials sitting at tables."

Oh, Shekel. You are my hero.

Will "Slap Reporters" Smith

Remember how last week Will Smith slapped a Ukrainian reporter who tried to slip him the lip during a showbizzy embrace? No? Well, anyway, here's Will Smith talking to David Letterman about that awkward moment when you hit a journalist who tries to snog you.

21st Century Annie

On a related note, did you know that Will Smith was 'in talks' with Emma Thompson and Jay-Z about a remake of Annie starring Willow Smith? Because I didn't, and I have absolutely no idea how I missed this.