31/12/2013 15:58 GMT | Updated 02/03/2014 05:59 GMT

Twenty-Five Ways to Find Self-Acceptance

The Backbone of Self-Acceptance

OK, so be honest, do you accept yourself exactly as you are right now? Did you parents convey to you constantly that you were acceptable just as you were and that it was okay to make mistakes and get things wrong?

If not then you may have viewed yourself ambivalently. If you were not taught that we are all perfectly imperfect and you were hugged or rewarded only for getting things right or doing as you were told, you may have grown up believing only certain behaviors are acceptable, and on some feel that you are not good enough.

elf- acceptance is a very important component of self- confidence. When you have self- acceptance, you have an attitude which allows you to have a strong core within where you truly believe you are good enough. You embrace yourself regardless of your past, your mistakes or your weaknesses. A big misconception of self -acceptance is that you need to like everything about yourself. That's not the case, you don't have to like everything about yourself. But you do have to.....


Self - acceptance is an attitude and a way of looking at yourself and the world around you. It is a willingness to see things are they are without any judgement. Taking a loving stance towards ourselves and finding self- acceptance is an incredible place to get to.

So many people are not aware we need to strive for progress, not perfection....Perfectionism is an illusion and offers instant gratification. It stems from insecurity, low confidence and low self - esteem.

Here are my top tips.

1 Separate who you are from what you have done.

2.Face your mistakes and learn from them.

3.Embrace what you think, feel and believe.

4.Your feelings belong to you, they will reside with you until you deal with them, so get friendly with them, stop avoiding them.

5. You may have met many people, but it is now time to meet yourself.

6. Quit comparing and despairing.

7. Stop feeling you need to conform to be accepted by others and feeling bound by what others think of you.

8. Stop looking for everyone to like you, it is a full time job and completely futile.

9. Commit to yourself to dig deep and find acceptance in yourself so you feel positive and confident even when your expectations are not met.

10. Keep telling yourself over and over you are worthy, deserving and fabulous.

11. Find some compassion for yourself

12.Start worshiping yourself by being nice to yourself.

13. Do NOT abuse yourself by eating fast food, going without sleep, saying yes when you mean no, and neglecting your needs to people please.

14. Do not appease yourself, revere yourself

15. Name, claim, dump old habits.

16. Stop focusing on the negatives in your life and focus ONLY on the positives.

17.Write a letter to yourself and make amends for every cruel word you have ever said to yourself, for all the times you have abused yourself, neglected yourself, allowed others to speak down

to you, speak over you, humiliated you, and be unkind to you.

18. Forgive yourself for all the times you have made promises to yourself and let yourself down.

19. Promise yourself from today you will observe yourself without judgement.

20. Keep affirming to yourself you have done the best you possibly could with the programming you have had since you were a child.

21. Bring understanding to every aspect of self - rejection.

22. Make peace with the fact we don't have to keep fixing ourselves, instead we need to keep loving ourselves.

23. Stop taking your shortcomings so seriously. Lighten up.

24. Fire your inner critic on a daily basis..

25. Give yourself a huge mental hug each day and say ' I am more than enough'

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