Alexandra Massey

Author, blogger, speaker

Alexandra is an expert in recovery from depression. Having recovered herself she has helped many others through her books and helpline counselling. Her latest book is Beat Depression Fast. Website:

Is Death Easier Than Divorce?

Last week a woman said something to me that stopped me in my tracks. It had occurred within the context of a conversation we were having about the death of my husband last year when she asked me how I was coping. I explained that I was getting back on my feet. It was then she said,
01/11/2016 11:55 GMT

I Wish the Doctors Had Told Us He Was Going to Die

It's only in hindsight I can see that Pete, my husband, wasn't going to survive. Whether it was alternative treatments or getting him to the right doctor or hospital, I was 'running on empty' frantically trying to find ways of helping him stay alive.
09/08/2016 15:08 BST

How to Help Someone Who's Grieving

Have you ever met up with a friend or family member who's just lost someone close to them and felt at a loss as to what to say? You're not alone. We feel awkward in this situation because we think that whatever we say isn't going to be adequate.
10/06/2016 16:40 BST

Ten Surprising Things About Grief

My husband Pete died suddenly last year. His death was completely unexpected. Well to me anyway. But others have since told me they saw it coming. But I didn't. And even though he'd been ill for a long time, I thought he was going to live forever.
23/05/2016 11:34 BST

Why Mindfulness Can Take You to the Edge of Madness

I love meditating because it acts as an anchor, gives me a foundation and keeps me calm. However, it's the retreats that do me in. Spending a week disconnected from normal life and daily distractions is a recipe for disaster.
05/06/2015 14:14 BST

Five Stages Of A Relationship

Why do some couples break up after a couple of years yet others last a lifetime? Here's a model that's considered pretty accurate amongst psychologists when it comes to the stages that all relationships go through. It's not rigid but there are many aspects that most of us recognise.
13/03/2015 10:35 GMT

Why Being Single Is Fabulous

Are you're single and having a panic attack at the thought of being the only one not coupled up in a love nest on the 14th? If so you've been watching too many re-runs of Sex and the City. Here some good reason why being single is the best. Read on.
12/02/2015 11:49 GMT

How Can We Save Our Darling NHS? Don't Worry - I Have a Plan

Suppose we all took more responsibility for our own health? What? You ask. Yup, that's what I'm thinking. That, instead of automatically booking an appointment with the GP, we Google the symptoms and check out what's wrong with us then take advantage of some aged old wisdom.
01/12/2014 13:20 GMT

Ten Signs You Are Addicted to Toxic Emotions

Toxic emotions are stored in the drug store buried deep in our inner world. Open the door and you'll find bottles of fear, shame, excitement, stress, self-hate, lust and worry. The more we thrive on these emotions, the harder it is to live without them.
19/11/2014 14:25 GMT

Three Things Eckhart Tolle Has Taught Me That Have Rocked My World

Millions of us suffer from depression and stress. I held onto mine like a badge of honor. Having survived a damaging childhood, divorce and cancer in the family, I though my suffering was hard won and I wanted my Oscar. But I got fed up of waking up every morning reminding myself everything that was wrong in my life.
10/11/2014 10:21 GMT

How Your Doctor Can Tell If You're Depressed

Have you ever walked into your Doctor's surgery with a sore foot and left with a prescription for anti-depressants? It's not uncommon to go for one thing and come away with a treatment for something completely different and, specifically, for depression.
29/10/2014 15:55 GMT

Sometimes It's Not Right to Report Sexual Abuse

If I had the urge to publicly accuse this man, I'd have to question myself and my motives. The only one I can think of is if I was stuck in a victim mindset and sought revenge. Thankfully I'm not. Behaving like a victim disenfranchises you, steals your integrity and keeps you stuck. Yes, they were responsible for what happened then but I am responsible for myself now.
22/10/2014 10:33 BST

Six Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissistic Mother

But people who were raised by a narcissistic Mother are depleted of these traits and, as adults, are left with a legacy of difficulties which manifest themselves in all areas of life but particularly in relationships.
17/10/2014 12:15 BST

Eight Signs You Were Raised in a Dysfunctional Family

What is a dysfunctional family? Well, there is a huge span when it comes to the term 'dysfunctional'. It ranges from mildly dysfunctional to completely nuts. There is really no guide when it comes to determining how dysfunctional a family is but, for the purposes of this article, we are leaning towards the 'completely nuts' end of the spectrum.
09/10/2014 16:50 BST

Help, My Child Is Lonely...

I received an email last week from a parent who was concerned about her daughter: "...she's lonely and I don't know what to do. I heard her whisper to herself I wish I was someone else. I am distraught. How can I help her?"
01/10/2014 12:47 BST

When Saying Sorry to a Child Does More Harm Than Good

Having been one of those parents who had practiced this many times, until someone gently pointed out how I was coming across, I've now stopped. This one time I'm talking about is when I've said 'I'm sorry' but what I really wanted was relief from my own uncomfortable feelings of being a dysfunctional parent or to be allayed of my guilt.
29/09/2014 15:25 BST

Three Things That Make Kids Happier Every Day

I used to vex about how happy my children were, and still do sometimes, but with experience I've come to realise that their fundamental needs are very simple. They want to be heard, loved and given some special time. If I give them these three things every day, they thrive. So I do everything I can to ensure I make that happen and I know I'm investing in their happiness.
26/09/2014 16:58 BST

What to Do If a Child Says 'I Want to Kill Myself'

For any parent, teacher or carer, hearing a child say 'I want to kill myself' is a heart stopping moment. In the following seconds, time either stands still or comes rushing at you like a speed train. It might seem impossible to find the right words.
23/09/2014 17:13 BST