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Ashley Hames

Writer, teacher. Lives in Palermo, Sicily

Ashley Hames lives in Palermo, Sicily. He has written two books which are not bestsellers. He also has some dubious TV credits from the distant past, including Man’s Work and Sin Cities, and has also worked for BBC TV, Channel 5, BBC Radio and TalkSPORT Radio.
Painfully Sweet: My Memories Of Sean

Painfully Sweet: My Memories Of Sean Hughes

I remember after staying at his home in Crouch End, Sean sweetly walked me to the tube station with Bill in tow. And as we left his huge house I felt a guilty sigh of relief that I could go back to my shitty little flat to be on my own, but still feel happy with my lot.
27/10/2017 13:24 BST
Trump's Tweets Reveal The Mind Of A Petulant

Trump's Tweets Reveal The Mind Of A Petulant Child

Trump clearly does not have "a very good brain." He is stuck in arrested development, a little boy-bully who has got the top job, who can say whatever he wants, and none of us will ever have a clue if he means it.
28/11/2016 16:45 GMT

Penis Protests

Now that legal repercussions are out the window, The Don of Bunga Bunga is surely already brandishing his pleasure pump in preparation for a grandiose public celebration of wrist aerobics.
13/09/2016 11:54 BST
Why the Statue of David Has a Small

Why the Statue of David Has a Small Penis

Why is this basic consideration for other people so lacking? For me, an Englishman abroad, it's bizarre. I'm pretty sure that door construction is fairly uniform throughout Western Europe. Even in Palermo, doors boast the technical wizardry known as 'door knobs' or 'handles.'
12/10/2015 11:35 BST
Moved by

Moved by Music

Having been barred from the Brit Pop party, it seems that only now are critics reassessing the undeniable pop sensibilities of David Devant & His Spirit Wife. And hearing the songs on this album, it's an absolute wonder that it has taken so long.
02/09/2015 14:58 BST
Where's Your Compassion,

Where's Your Compassion, Cameron?

Perhaps I'm being naive but I can no longer accept that things have to be the way they are now, that clobbering the poor and vulnerable is a rational answer to mending our future. We <em>can</em> do things another way, and in time I'm sure we will.
03/10/2014 10:55 BST
Love Me

Love Me Tinder

Like millions of other lonely souls, I recently joined Tinder to try and spark up my non-existent love-life. Romantically, I'm sure it would probably be better if I was to meet someone organically, but hey ho, to Tinder I go.
19/06/2014 11:00 BST
A Sordid, Sleazy Mess... And I Love

A Sordid, Sleazy Mess... And I Love It

Fast-becoming a talking point on the live circuit, The Fat Whites are booked to play the Old Blue Last in Shoreditch and I've gone along for the ride. The boys - highly commendably - are horribly late, and their manager Carla is growing increasingly stressed.
18/06/2013 17:25 BST
Stone Roses: Made of

Stone Roses: Made of Stone

It seems like the dream ticket - <em>This is England</em> film director Shane Meadows takes on the task of documenting the comeback of legendary band, the Stone Roses. Quality director, seminal band, what's not to like? Well, quite a lot as it turns out...
31/05/2013 17:33 BST
News Bunny's By-Election

News Bunny's By-Election Memories

Meanwhile, back in the offices at L!VE TV, station boss Kelvin McKenzie had stopped off at the transmission gallery to watch a feed of the footage of my arrest. I was later told that he proclaimed it as, "the best f***ing piece of television I've ever seen in my life!"
18/11/2012 17:17 GMT
60 Years of the

60 Years of the NME

A couple of weeks ago I applied for a job as a writer for an online journal. I was asked to submit some writing samples and then write 50 words about my favourite magazine. That last bit really bugged me, but hey ho. This is what I wrote.
21/09/2012 10:45 BST
Are Women Bored Of

Are Women Bored Of Vaginas?

Calling it <em>Vagina</em> is obviously designed for maximum shock value. <em>C**t </em>would have been far more effective, but that's America for you. Still some distance to go. I have to ask though, am I the only one that's bored rigid by feminists banging on about their vaginas?
07/09/2012 23:55 BST
Taking Drugs Is Not a

Taking Drugs Is Not a Disease

With sessions still on-going at the Home Affairs Select Committee on Drugs, I thought I'd write a few words before they get round to publishing. Words are important. Labels are important. And it's my view that labelling drug addiction as a 'disease' is dangerous and wrong.
30/05/2012 17:19 BST

Book Rape

I write in quite a bizarre way - back when I had my first book in mind I would write maybe 10,000 words in a weekend and then spend weeks unable to add a single word.
30/03/2012 23:16 BST
Let's Talk About Sex:

Let's Talk About Sex: Pegging

Internet porn and a more liberal media have made us increasingly aware of those people with extraordinary sexual kinks or fetishes, but these people have always been among us. <em><strong>Warning: This blog post contains adult content and graphic images. </strong></em>
28/02/2012 22:12 GMT