Dr. Bill Cloke

Psychotherapist

I started my education with a BA in Anthropology, then went on to a Masters in Education and rounded all out with a Ph.D. in Psychology. I have been in private practice for 35 years and work with individuals and couples in Los Angeles California.

The Happiness Mystique - How The Search For Happiness Can Make Us Miserable

Most of my research revealed happiness was related to gratitude, mindfulness, a positive attitude, finding love and being active. What else is new? Truth is no one really knows for sure what makes us happy. Certainly trying to find it can be disappointing or exhilarating. Maybe the secret is to be still and it might just sneak up on us.
20/09/2017 14:45 BST

What Kills And What Creates Love?

So, what kills love and what keeps it alive? Now there's a complicated question for any couple in today's world. Wow. I will take a stab at it and hopefully something compelling will come out of it. So here goes.
24/08/2017 15:37 BST

How To Live In A Polar Opposite World

It appears that we are lacking in both. If we are to survive as a nation, one nation under God, then we must trust that our forefathers had it right. That equality, opportunity and inclusion are still what America stands for.
24/05/2017 11:55 BST

Neurosis Is The New Normal

The depiction that I like to use to describe the way neurosis or anxiety or panic feels is like a psychological fantasy that the shadow of Godzilla is approaching from around the corner and all we hear are the footsteps. Thump, thump goes our heart.
28/09/2016 10:17 BST

How to Make Marriage Last

With so many marriages going up in flames many people are turned off by the whole idea of it. How can it last for a lifetime? What makes some marriages last and yet others fall apart at the seams? Many of the marriages that do last are nothing to write home about, so why do it at all?
29/07/2016 14:12 BST

What is Transformation?

Transformation is not about what happens to us but what make of it. Inevitably, we have to decide what we want our lives to be about apart from everything we have known. We need to consider that we have the right to create something with our own hands and our own thoughts. We might have to leave everything, we might need to invent our lives but in any event the first step is to lay claim to ourselves.
24/06/2016 14:59 BST

Love and Tyranny

How then do couples overcome the tyranny of anger and abuse so they can feel safe to tell the truth and connect? It's of course never easy because the roots of anger and frustration go way back and they are habits learned in our family of origin.
02/05/2016 20:07 BST

The Art of Conflict

We all know that if we are angry, critical, mean spirited and we shut each other out there is no good end to this kind of interaction. So why do we still do it? One answer is that we don't know better.
12/04/2016 10:59 BST

Can We Choose Our Lives or Are We Dyed in The Wool?

Are we born a certain way or are we a compilation of our experiences that lock us into who we are? Can we choose who we want to be and then become it or are we determined by our genes and our family dynamics?
02/12/2015 13:01 GMT

How to Love Dangerously

There are so many reasons to be afraid of intimacy and love we can hardly begin to enumerate them. John Paul-Sartre opined that lovers want to possess the desire of the other to quell their fear of rejection and abandonment. In that way he believes that all love relationships are doomed to battles for independence and ever present dependency.
13/10/2015 11:18 BST

The Five Essentials for a Happy Relationship

Healthy interactions require that you come at them from a neutral or positive place. If you take the time to cool off and think about it, you will have a much better chance of working the problem through.
28/09/2015 11:56 BST

Who Are We Really?

As I navigate the straights and narrows of intimate connections, I am struck by the difference between being righteous and defensive and my willingness to look at my behavior from the reactions I get from others.
13/04/2015 12:56 BST

Rules, Power, Anger and Control: How to Deal with Difficult People

Many of us have been involved in work or family interactions with very difficult people and there is, at times, no real way out. What to do? Can we confront them, try to be more difficult than they are, fight the good fight or can we simply go to the boss or the person we are having a conflict with, report the problem and get justice?
29/01/2015 15:51 GMT

Marriage License or Lease?

Don't Forget to Be a Good Friend. Marriage is first and foremost a friendship between two people. If you want your marriage to last it's important to make sure you show up, be interested, put the time and effort into it and don't take it for granted. Remember that the adage "Treat you family like friends and your friends like family" is actually true.
12/11/2014 09:26 GMT