Whenever I see Ed Miliband trying to pretend he's a human, I'm always reminded of a particular scene in Mark Tavener's criminally underrated sitcom Absolute Power in which the oily sultan of spin Charles Prentiss (not so much played by as written for Stephen Fry) is sizing up dowdy Tory shadow minister Joanne Standing (basically a pilot version of The Thick of It's Nicola Murray).
18/07/2014 13:31 BST
When, in June, Paxman finally hangs up those weary eyebrows and quits Newsnight, he will cap a glittering career. For 25 years, Paxman's main talent has been the ability to ask questions of the foremost inconsequence in the manner of a courtroom drama auditionee.
16/05/2014 10:20 BST
Anyone catch that Keane v Vieira documentary the other week? If you've watched any football on ITV recently, you'll have seen national village idiot Adrian Chiles repeatedly flatulating over it like some sort of gammon whoopee cushion, each time turning to simper at sweet-tempered Roy with the distinct air of a man doing everything in his meagre powers to avoid having his intestines used to hoist the boom.
14/01/2014 11:06 GMT
For those of you with the insatiable morbidity necessary to have read this far, I don't propose to tax your limited attention spans any further by embarking on a new subject. So instead, I'll sum up the gist of what I had intended to write in one sentence: We gon' be aaiight wiv Moyes.
21/05/2013 16:02 BST
24/04/2013 14:56 BST
Don't get me wrong, I happen to think that Gervais is a genuinely talented actor (almost in spite of himself) but he must know that his muppet face, ridiculous enough in the first place, has been compromised by a decade of retarded gurning.
01/04/2013 18:28 BST
Blackadder teaches us a great deal, not necessarily about British history but more about the English class system and the attitudes of Englishmen on its different rungs, in particular towards each other.
12/03/2013 12:50 GMT
Hugh Grant has made a very decent living, chiefly under the patronage of Richard Curtis, portraying the most simperingly deferential man in the history of the species.
12/02/2013 13:39 GMT
GNev is charming. Who knew? He's witty and urbane and more than willing to take the piss out of himself. His insights are relevant and lucid and he the scoring of a goal sometimes brings him to a very loud sexual climax which is nice.
28/01/2013 13:29 GMT
Liam Neeson gets his zimmer frame nicked by a gang of young whipper-snappers who have a diabolical scheme to solve the impending pension crisis in the EU.
11/12/2012 12:37 GMT
Hello. I'm a man who, for 11 months of the year, earns a (spiritually) substantial crust doodling and writing about chubboes and their jowls. It just fascinates me the way they dangle there like sweaty, Cumberland sausage necklaces.
02/11/2012 16:04 GMT
We've swapped urbane, well-briefed and articulate interlocutors like Clare Balding, John Inverdale and Michael Johnson for slack-jawed rubes who struggle to recall the number of players fielded by a team and say things like "for me, it's a game of two halves and at the end of the day the lad give 'undred and ten percent in and araand the box."
05/10/2012 11:13 BST
Now admittedly, this was my first party conference but as the train wheezed into Brighton station and I peered through my rain-spattered window at the black clouds being tossed about the seaside sky, I remember thinking what an apposite congregation of vapours it was to herald a Lib Dem conference at this particular moment in time.
27/09/2012 17:07 BST
Anyway, the point is that those idiots who persist with the benighted philosophy that swearing is neither big nor clever should be pointed gently towards The Thick of It where they'll have their eyes opened to a veritable renaissance of ribaldry.
24/09/2012 09:58 BST
Before I begin, I should state for the record that I quite like this pub; I've spent many a blissful, booze-soaked hour within. The following rant is almost exclusively the result of my treatment, one July afternoon.
01/08/2012 14:39 BST
Dimbleby, Paxman, Marr, Snow, you're all total players but nobody else can hold a candle to Andrew Neil when it comes to force-feeding the establishment the medicine it most detests: ridicule. And what majestic jowls.
10/07/2012 12:39 BST
It is the year of our lord 2012 and, true to his first book, <em>Bouncing Back</em> (which was ironically pulped) and perhaps one of Nostradamus' less celebrated prophesies, Norfolk's prodigal son Alan Gordon Partridge has risen again and returned to our unworthy, spittle-spattered screens.
06/07/2012 13:27 BST
I'll bet the Prime Minister would give his butler's left leg right about now for a moratorium on the expression "U-turn". Well actually given the choice, he'd probably rather expunge the term "omnishambles" from our shared lexicon but one fire-fight at a time.
03/07/2012 11:21 BST