Observing life since 1981; writing about it since I could.
A mother not a fighter, one of all the single ladies and lots of other secret remarkable things in between, preferring to use personal experience and observations to be judged on and form opinion from instead.
With enough experiences, observations and opinions garnered on a 1:3 ratio of mundane to ridiculous, I express them in a blog (nataliewisdom.com) and other obscure places on the internet.
The problem is it's not straightforward to not like Me. It's conflicting. Other people like this girl Me. They tell me that I should like Me. They say that she's things like: beautiful, clever, funny, intelligent and give her genuinely good attributes and reasons why I should like her. I think I would like her if she were anyone else, but she is Me.
So what is being single like? It is a time when you assume that having a boyfriend would improve life. An assumption that every non-single person you know is probably doing something better than you. A time when you are envious of all the things you assume you would be doing if you had a boyfriend...
Even when others would bemoan their iPhones, I'd stick up for you; yes I'd complain but who doesn't? On the whole I was happy. I have to accept that there were times I was noncahlant over the years; took you for granted. You were dropped many times and left battered & bruised and for that I apologise.
I hate days like this because I don't want to do this anymore and I dislike myself for not wanting to do this anymore. I miss my old life, not because it was more fulfilling, not by any stretch, merely because it wasn't this; it wasn't 'today'. I miss the life I took for granted whilst watching repeats of programmes I didn't even enjoy very much the first time I watched them.
07/05/2014 12:58 BST
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