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Stephen Hamilton

Glasgow-born comedian, writer, and published author

Stephen Hamilton is a Glasgow-born comedian, writer, and published author. The funny Scotsman has spent several years writing and performing comedy as well as writing for and co-writing with other comedians worldwide.

He is currently the comedy writer and editor at Dafty News:

He said of comedy: “Comedy doesn’t always need to be of a high quality and standard. Just perform it in front of an audience who have a very low opinion of themselves and an even lower self-esteem; and who are clearly suffering from a multitude of personal issues and carrying a lot of life’s baggage. They’ll laugh at anything – they have to.”

Stephen lists his influences as George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Sam Kinison and Doug Stanhope.

Political Correctness: Je Suis Comedy

Some of us, especially stand-up comedians, can oftentimes find ourselves submerged in puddles as we wade through our sets in dark underground basements just trying to make sense of the world. And using language we believe to know well.
26/01/2015 14:23 GMT

How to Handle a Nigerian E-mail Scammer

We've all had them, we've all read them, and some have actually been stupid enough to reply to them. I am of course talking about the famous, <em>"Dear sir, I am the son of an African diplomat...blah, blah, blah, </em>E-mail.
04/09/2014 12:15 BST

Top 12 Excuses for Being Late With Your Self-Assessment Tax Form

The World Cup was on and two things happened. Before I knew it I'd missed the deadline. My budgie was sick. He chewed on the only pen I had in the house and he died of ink poison. I didn't have anything to put him in for his burial so I just used your envelope you sent me and you got it ... the self-assessment form was in the envelope.
24/08/2014 21:41 BST

Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Be Slaughtered by a Comedian

A blind kid with disabilities does not deserve to be slaughtered by a comedian but an adult with 20/20 vision who owes you twenty bucks and drunkenly compliments your wife's tits deserves and needs to have his dignity stripped down to his ankles then whacked by some very heavy lesson biker mechanic chains.
21/07/2014 12:47 BST

The Language of a Journalist: Top Five Lines

I fell backwards into journalism. I planned on embarking on another path, well off track, as I had two choices: (1) to study psychology or (2) to study psychiatry. As you can guess I chose neither as I couldn't make my mind up.
12/07/2014 22:25 BST

Eleven Reasons Why Jesus Is Not Coming Back

Some very persuasive religious group hustlers banged on my door, aggressively, and were even more fierce with their finger and tongue wagging telling me, 'Jesus is coming'. Now, I have no qualms about anyone's beliefs and I give anyone their right to their beliefs but I don't go knocking on their doors telling them, 'No he f***ing isn't."
27/04/2014 16:50 BST

Twenty-Seven Annoying Sayings and Phrases in One Article

If you are like me you'll hate clichés, annoying repetitive sayings and phrases. We can't hide from them as they are everywhere we look and everywhere we turn. The only way to combat them is to fight back, and with vengeance.
14/04/2014 13:37 BST

Top 10 Things to Hate About Facebook

<strong>1. Share if you love your kids.</strong> Oh, really? So, let me get this straight. I love my kids, you love your kids, and we all love our kids. But, you want me to let you know that I love my kids and I want you to let me know you love your kids, too? Plus, both of us get to tell the whole frigging world that we both love our kids...
11/04/2014 16:52 BST