THE BLOG
10/12/2013 08:07 GMT | Updated 08/02/2014 05:59 GMT

Northern Ireland Parody Group is Aiming for Christmas Number One

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They walk with a sword of satire. Stalk with a breastplate of parody and a shield of jaded irony and wield a blade of cutting wit. They balk at sectarianism and bigotry. That is their enemy and they make no sectarian exemption. Against their tribal opponents they launch humor-coated rocks long across across the digital savanna. A savanna that has liberated man to do as much badness as goodness.

They are LAD - Loyalists Against Democracy (@LADFLEG). An entirely peaceful, non-fanatical collective of young Northern Irish men and women who oppose violent, thuggish nationalism and sectarianism.

LAD is the sigh of the long dis-empowered - the muzzled moderate - now empowered through social media. They are Northern Ireland's unofficial Opposition, resistance and counter-factual against sectarians who stalk the streets and political office.

And loyalists and their other opponents don't like it. Through the loyalist filter, anything that strays from their view of British nationalism is tantamount a malevolent Fenian/IRA intervention.

Well I will unapologetically say good. I Welcome their offence. It's been long overdue. For too many years they've run writ large unchecked, nurtured and indulged. By their recent precedent these people wish, hope and intend to turn Northern Ireland into a racketeering bucket-shop. Now they have someone holding them to account and opposing their bucket-shop experiment - and they hate it.

The charge laid against LAD and their supporters is that they are bullies and snobs. I would earnestly submit that unveiling examples of nauseating sectarianism made against those people caught in the Clutha Bar tragedy is not "snobbish" or "bullying". That standing against filthy racism against Nelson Mandela is not "snobbish" or "bullying". I would also sumbit that calling up threats against singer Bob Geldof is not "snobbish" or "bullying". That highlighting an incitement to breach legal injunctions is not "snobbish" or "bullying". I submit also that calling out hostile behaviour and social media messages about mass murder made by a politician are not in fact examples of activity that could sensibly be called "snobbish" or "bullying".

I would call this a public good. And no one should underestimate the wider effect of this delinquency and the broader sickness that it indicates. They've scared off international investors. Done huge damage to the Northern Ireland economy, public purse and reputation. Making people think that Northern Ireland actually is some sort of bucket-shop. Scared off the best and most talented people of Northern Ireland.

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More than that, Loyalists have actually done huge damage to the argument that Northern Ireland should stay in the Union. Northern Ireland rests upon the principle of democratic consent by virtue of the 1998 peace agreement. Unionists won big time by the democratic principle in 1998 and if they want the Union to endure, they must accede to that elementary concept of western modernity.

Anyone who opposes the madness of loyalists, dissident republicans and other mad men is very much my very good friend. By that measure I stand by my point that LAD are a public good and it's by that reason why their continued success should be supported and why we should contribute to their mission to top the Christmas charts.

Yes, LAD have released a charity record, called Last December by "Paramilitary Wives", which is now available to download on Amazon, iTunes and Google Play and all proceeds go to charity. The benefactor was to be the SOS Bus Northern Ireland. However, as is the habit of loyalists, the charity received abuse and firmly worded communication that they should reject the donation from LAD. This is very sad - That's been the whole history of Northern Ireland in one act, of blackmail, bullying, racketeering and extortion. Of the violent fanatic muzzling and scaring off the best.

But LAD will continue and by their existence this horrible, hideous grip and monopoly of terror is being challenged. LAD gives a fightback, a voice to the muzzled moderate that has long been bullied, menaced, threatened, terrified into silence; less they be called "snobbish", less they be seriously beat-up, fire-bombed or murdered.

This bullying is grotesque and has to be repudiated, vanquished and exterminated. This is the clash of civilisation with barbarism. As a good citizen you cannot be neutral or indifferent to this. I know what I'm doing, giving my support to LAD and buying Last December by "Paramilitary Wives".

Further reading

Stand Up for Northern Ireland's Tahrir Square here.

Loyalists Against Democracy - Unveiling and Assailing Sectarianism here.

Loyalists Against Democracy - will @LADFLEG's second year in existence be their difficult second album? here.