THE BLOG
22/06/2015 12:40 BST | Updated 22/06/2016 06:59 BST

13 Things That Happen When You've Got A Big Bum

There are two types of women in this world: those with small bums and those with massive bums. (I, proudly, fall into the latter group.)

Women with big bums have recently become something of a spectacle, with many becoming famous for their ass-ets (excuse the pun) above all else. The term belfie spilled on to our social media feeds in 2013 and we haven't looked back since.

But big bums are nothing new and neither is the adoration for them. I've had one for as long as I can remember and am a descendent of a long line of big-bummed women. (You think my bum is big? You wait 'til you see my mum...)

So without further ado, here are 13 things all big-bummed women know to be true.

You own the dance floor whenever a bum song comes on

Sir Mix-A-Lot wrote that one for me, OK?

Just don't automatically assume we can all twerk

'cause it's A LOT harder than it looks

When you wear anything remotely tight everyone thinks you're going on a date

But really you're just going to the shop to get hummus

...and EVERYONE knows when you've got a VPL

Because your PL is so much bigger than everyone else's

For that reason, squats are your friend...

Your slightly annoying, often painful friend.

But so, of course, is cake...

Because thigh gaps are over-rated

That's why you constantly knock things off of tables as you try to squeeze past

That bum just doesn't fit through small gaps, alright?

...and why trying to find clothes that fit is nigh-on impossible

You spend your life jumping around your bedroom trying to squeeze into skinny jeans

But on the plus side, imagine walking around with a built-in cushion to sit on

It's pretty damn cool

Of course, you haven't always loved your big bum...

You used to hate it and want to be skinny

But now you're its number one fan..

*High-fives body confidence*

You have maturity and your fellow big-bummed women to thank for that

Beyonce is your spirit animal

But you still lose your shit whenever someone says "big bums are in fashion"

I mean it's not like you ever had a choice in the matter...