From the moment you find out you're pregnant, or even the moment you make the decision to start a family, there's a fierce feeling of responsibility that washes over you - one that forces you to Google, 'Can pregnant women eat....' at least five times a day. You become overly obsessed with growing that tiny human to the very best of your ability and when (or if) the first trimester queasiness subsides, you start to think about what you're fuelling your body with to make sure that bub is safe and growing healthily. I however, in some respects, was different from many pregnant women.
In 2007, I was finally diagnosed with an autoimmune disease alongside multiple food intolerances and allergies that, until then, had left me with debilitating symptoms. Awash with a mixture of relief and fear, I finally had an answer to why I had lost my vision.
It probably doesn't come as a surprise that the journey to being tested, and finding the results, was a difficult one as was the road to recovery. Unfortunately health testing and post diagnosis support isn't always easy to come by so my journey back to health was a long one.
Fast forward five years and I found myself pregnant with my first child. Whilst I tried to enjoy my pregnancy, there was always a niggle in the back of my mind, what if this little person also has food intolerance and allergies?
I had never thought that there was such a thing as an 'Allergy Mama' and if you'd have told me in my twenties that I would be one, I would have laughed you out of the room. I hadn't quite realised how all-consuming mothering can be when your children have such severe allergies. From almost the moment he was born, I stepped into this new unfamiliar world. I knew how to manage my own allergies but suddenly I was the person responsible for this little human with allergies, whom I loved so dearly and wanted with all my might to protect.
What are the worries that plague an Allergy Mama?
What hurdles are we faced with day to day?
Here's my experience as a mum of children with allergies:
1.Pre-empting EVERY situation involving food
For anyone who has ever been on a diet, you will know how difficult it can be to try to pre-empt what, when and where you might be eating. There's then the crosschecking of the menu to identify if there is something you can have on your new regime. Well, for an Allergy Mama this struggle is amplified by childhood fussiness, foods being potentially harmful if even touched (not just ingested) and the unpredictable nature life with a child boasts; if nap time overruns you may be faced with dining somewhere unexpected with a ravenous little one that still doesn't quite understand their allergy and simply wants food NOW! Changing bag 'tapas' (a concoction of allergy friendly snacks) has been on the menu on more than one occasion in their lifetime!
2. Does my child understand their allergy?
They may now be old enough to seemingly understand the list of foods they should avoid but when faced with peers enjoying a snack at break time or entrusted with a little pocket money at the local shop, will they resist temptation? Do they know how to look for 'hidden' allergens in food?
3. Not everyone understands the severity of allergies
If I've heard it once, I've heard it a million times, 'Are you sure they're just not fussy eaters?' or 'Just a little bit won't do them any harm will it?' Sadly, whilst allergy awareness is on the increase, and many restaurant chains now have separate menus, understanding on a society level is still lacking and this is frightening.
4.The odd one out
As humans, we subconsciously strive to 'fit in' and to be 'part of something' but unfortunately allergy sufferers are forced to often stand out. We are the 'awkward ones' at dinner parties, the ones that have to check and double check ingredients on packets and the nuisance that return plates of food when eating out. I desperately don't want my children to face the same stigma.
Allergy Mama life can be tough; it's a constant worry and can often leave parents feeling a heightened level of anxiety over day to day things but these feelings are completely normal. Please be rest assured there is help and advice out there and if you ever want to talk to a fellow Allergy Mum, I'm always here for a chat.