I firstly want to apologise if I seem very blunt and irrational-- but I experienced a very negative experience not too long ago on the bus on the way home with my now five month old baby boy.
Why do people judge almost instantly when they see something that they don't agree with?
My son, who I had fed, changed, burped and made sure he was ok before I left where I was, was crying in the buggy. The cry was continuous. To the point where he began to squeal and wail.
I checked something because my son is very much used to being carried and has developed an attachment to me, which I am actively trying to break. Before I even move on... babies will of course form an attachment to their mothers... but it's when they become overly attached and want you to hold them all the time is when it becomes a problem. So continuing the story... I slowly took off the rain cover and pushed down the hood of the buggy and veered close to him as if I'm coming to pick him up.
He stopped crying instantly.
It's something he does with me at home as well. So what I do is leave him to cry it out.
The amount of dirty looks I received on the bus was unbelievable. I actually had a man approach me and tell me that my child is crying and that I should pick him up. If I gave in to the pressure, I would have done so. But I won't do that because people have so much to say when they don't understand.
I got on two buses and on both buses I checked him and he kept doing the same thing.
Eventually my son fell asleep.
I'm a new mum yes, but there is something that has been instilled in me before my son was even born and that is intuition.
Before my son was born I went through a week of being in hospital and so much was declared about what was happening to me. If I had decided to do everything they suggested I should do, God forbid, my son may not be here today. But I followed my instincts.
Regardless of the suggestions, he is here now, healthy, happy and developing great.
I disagree with people who have the pure audacity to suggest to what I should do with my child. Unless you live with me and you see how my son is on a day to day basis, then yes, you can most definitely throw in a suggestion or an opinion. But if you are someone who has only seen one moment of outrageous behaviour and that is what you want to base your judgement on, then I'm sorry take several seats because there is more to than what meets the eye, my friend.
The only thing that I can empathise with is the fact that it is possible that the people on the bus couldn't stand the crying-- because my son, he can really cry if he is not getting his way.
Let's say he was crying because he was hungry, and I had to whip my breast out, again I would still get funny looks so either way I can't win! I'm in no place where anything I would do would be widely accepted.
A lot of people disagree with the whole 'letting babies cry it out' but wasn't there a time that this method was actively being done?
I refuse for my child to be attached to my hip-- he will be a child that can be independent and that will also allow me to still get things done. If you have a child that only wants to be in your hand as the mother, you will find it hard to find people to babysit as well as when you need to go back to work-- it's better you get them to be comfortable with people around you, and are ok to be left in their crib or left alone to play by themselves.
So to all of the people that had something to say either out loud or in their minds and gave odd looks-- you don't live with me and you don't know my son. I have to even pose the question, do you even have children to understand where I'm coming from?
I'm his mother and he is my son. End of.
When you have your own child you will understand for yourself.
Thank you.