20/11/2013 13:13 GMT | Updated 25/01/2014 16:01 GMT

Why Haven't I Met the One?

'Why haven't I met the one?' As you're sitting there reading this, I bet your thinking 'Hey, I've thought that!' Well don't worry, you're not alone!

Dating can be difficult, some people just meet the wrong one, some people don't meet anyone. Well that's not entirely true is it?! For those people who say that they never meet anyone, there are opportunities to meet 'the one' everywhere. From coffee shops to train stops, potential dates are everywhere. Perhaps it's just a case that you've not been interested in them or haven't felt brave enough to spark a conversation. Whatever the reason, I can help.

You're a good catch and believe me, that special someone is out there FOR YOU and when you meet them, you'll know it.

If you still feel like you've been single for forever and want some help to fix it, here are some possible reasons why you may be single and how you can fix it.

1) You're still hung up on an ex

Allow yourself enough time to get over an ex. Especially if you've recently broken up with a partner and the break up has left you in a bit of a pickle. Like any process this can take time and sometimes feels never ending but, until you are fully over the break up, your eyes aren't fully open to see new dates.

2) Forget about your 'type'

It's been said that finding 'the one' is akin to the old 'needle in a haystack' phrase but many make the search even more difficult by reducing the parameters of a potential date. For example currently on another dating site I've seen lines like 'I'm looking for a man 6ft 2+, with blonde hair, blue eyes with at least a masters degree'... this profile has been live for over a year! My advice to her... Move to Sweden!

Of course chemistry, personality and physical attraction are all key ingredients in a relationship. However, these come in all different shapes and sizes and there's never been any rule saying that you can only be attracted to one specific type of person. By having a checklist of features you want in a partner, you limit yourself a lot and make it much harder for you to let 'the one' in when you meet them. Be open-minded, your past type hasn't been working for you so maybe it's time to open your mind to new types of people. You never know, it might just work.


3) Let it happen naturally

Don't drive yourself insane by constantly asking yourself why you are single, it's doubtful you'll find an answer to that yourself. That kind of self questioning and doubt translates into how you stand, communicate and come across in day to day life... when you could be meeting and putting off a potential date!


Go out, have fun, flirt and spend time doing things that you enjoy. There's nothing more attractive than someone who is happy with their life and people naturally gravitate towards them making it a whole lot easier to meet people. If you like pottery, go to a pottery class, if you like dancing, start salsa... whatever it is you like, spending time doing that activity will also open you up to meeting potential dates who share that interest with you.

4) Shake up your routine

Try to extend your social circles. This is the best way to meet new friend and dates. If you go to the same bars week in week out and only socialise with the same small group of people you're greatly reducing the chances of meeting someone new. That could be a new friend or more!

5) Perfect on paper isn't always perfect in person

Try not to give yourself what I call the 'my perfect date' syndrome. Trying not to work to a preset default idea of what your ideal partner as it only restricts and hinders the chances of meeting someone new. You may have an idea what you think you want but chances are you'll find someone that doesn't fit into that box but has many more things to offer that you'd not even accounted for. Keep your needs fluid.

6) Go on a blind date

If someone says they know someone you should meet, do it! Your friends and work buddies probably know you better than you think you know yourself. Plus, even if it doesn't work out, don't give up...trial and error and all that!

7) Break your habits

If you like a drink or two, try going out for a night and not drinking alcohol. It'll give you an entirely different perspective of people later on in the evening!


8) Nerves are good. They show you care.

When you are on a first or early date remember it's ok to be nervous. Chances are your date is too even if they don't appear to be. It's impossible to be in the early days of dating and not have some kind of butterflies (even the guys).

9) Don't make yourself too easy

Rebound dates rarely lead to anything except tears and self loathing! It's cool to get back out there if you've recently become single but take it easy, there's nothing to be gained by running into the arms of the first person who opens them!

10) Online dating

Try online dating! With nearly two thirds of the UK single market using it to find love you're actually in the minority if you don't at least give it a whirl. It's also the third most popular way to meet a new partner, so what are you waiting for?