01/07/2015 12:15 BST | Updated 01/07/2016 06:59 BST

Oh The British, Heatwave


Growing up in Northern California, I was used to plenty of sunshine. But people are not so lucky in the UK. And when the weather gets hot, they go a little crazy. And by 'a bit crazy', I mean CRAY-ZEE. And Brits keep talking about the sun having its hat on, whatever that means.

If you are new to the UK, please be warned. And if you have been living in the UK for many years, as I have, you may even begin to start acting a bit heat-crazy yourself.

1. British people start stripping off. From very large men in too-small shorts walking down the road park, to my kids refusing to wear clothes at home.

2. All meals are eaten outside. In the garden, the BBQ becomes king. Or else you have a picnic on any patch of grass you can find.



3. It's an excuse for drinking even more alcohol than usual, preferably outside. And Brits love drinking booze in tins.



4. Gardens are turned into waterparks. Health and safety be damned.



5. All meals consist of sausages and ice cream.



6. British people will drive hours to the nearest beach. Who cares if the sand is covered in pebbles and the ocean is too cold to swim in. They're going to the beach, dammit.


7. And then the rains come, and are often accompanied by thunder and lightning and even hail.