12/02/2019 14:56 GMT | Updated 12/02/2019 14:57 GMT

11 Rude But Funny Valentine's Day Cards

Get yours last minute.

Flowers, jewellery, chocolates – Valentine’s Day is not only a commercialised nightmare, but a romanticised cliché.

With time fast running out before 14 February rolls around, you and your partner (or friend with benefits) might not be up for an overpriced meal in a packed restaurant, but let’s face it: you might as well use the day to your advantage and get some action. 

Here are some sexy, suggestive and downright crude Valentine’s Day cards to make sure yours goes out with a bang.

[Read more: 9 Anti-Valentine’s Day Cards For All The Haters Out There]

Valentine’s schmalentines, Naughty Little Card Designer, £3

Scream, What The Duck Cards on Etsy, £2.89

Harry Potter Valentines card, Brashmoose on Etsy, £2.95

I love your bum greeting card, Ink Bandit, £2.95

Rude Valentines Day Card, The No Such Disco on Etsy, £4

Spank That Ass, Scribbler, £2.49-£5.99 (S,M,L)

Is Your Name Margherita, Scribbler, £2.49-£5.99 (s, m, l)

Don’t Even Think About It Puzzle, Moonpig, £3.29


Let’s Screw, Funky Greeting Store on Etsy, £3

I want to poke you cactus card, Moonpig, £3.29

Card, Thortful, £3.29

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