Flowers, jewellery, chocolates – Valentine’s Day is not only a commercialised nightmare, but a romanticised cliché.
With time fast running out before 14 February rolls around, you and your partner (or friend with benefits) might not be up for an overpriced meal in a packed restaurant, but let’s face it: you might as well use the day to your advantage and get some action.
Here are some sexy, suggestive and downright crude Valentine’s Day cards to make sure yours goes out with a bang.
Valentine’s schmalentines, Naughty Little Card Designer, £3
Scream, What The Duck Cards on Etsy, £2.89
Harry Potter Valentines card, Brashmoose on Etsy, £2.95
I love your bum greeting card, Ink Bandit, £2.95
Rude Valentines Day Card, The No Such Disco on Etsy, £4
Spank That Ass, Scribbler, £2.49-£5.99 (S,M,L)
Is Your Name Margherita, Scribbler, £2.49-£5.99 (s, m, l)
Don’t Even Think About It Puzzle, Moonpig, £3.29
Let’s Screw, Funky Greeting Store on Etsy, £3
I want to poke you cactus card, Moonpig, £3.29
Card, Thortful, £3.29
We all work hard to earn our money – so it shouldn’t feel like hard work to spend it well. At HuffPost Finds we’ll help you find the best stuff that deserves your cash, from the ultimate lipstick to a durable iron to replace the one that broke (RIP). All our choices are completely independent but we may earn a small commission if you click a link and make a purchase.