Back-to-school season is a chaotic time for parents. You have to shop for school supplies, establish new routines, deal with neglected summer reading lists and figure out a way to get suddenly sleepy kids out of bed in the morning.
Naturally, many parents have aired their grievances (and found the humor in the madness) on Twitter. Here are 35 funny tweets about back-to-school season.
8-year-old: Tomorrow is the first day of school, isn't it?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 8, 2018
Me: Yeah. How did you know?
8: You won't stop smiling.
I've never been looting and rioting but I have been back-to-school shopping the day before school starts.
— Marl (@Marlebean) August 16, 2019
The first day of school is singlehandedly keeping the tiny chalkboard industry alive
— The Dad (@thedad) August 19, 2019
Approaching the first day of school like:
— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) August 3, 2018
please don’t act like you do at home...
please don’t act like you do at home...
please don’t act like you do at home...
I forgot to post a first day of school picture on social media, and now CPS is at my door asking if I actually love my kids or not.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) August 16, 2019
My son who wakes up at 6 A.M. EVERY SINGLE DAY just told me he doesn’t want to go back to school because he has to wake up early.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) August 15, 2018
Dad will you help me with this?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 1, 2018
-My daughter showing me her summer reading list on the day before she goes back to school.
Welcome back to school kids. Please form an orderly line.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) September 16, 2017
If you don't already have a highly contagious virus, one will be assigned to you.
First day of school & my son already brought home a picture form & now I have to decide if I want a basic package or spend $200 & get his face on a hand towel.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 15, 2019
Check on your friends whose kids don’t go back to school until September. We are not okay.
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) August 21, 2019
I sure will miss my kids when they go back to school in 9 days, 12 hours, 18 minutes and 43 seconds.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) August 11, 2019
Kids have to know their parents full names on the first day of school.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 31, 2016
I can't wait.
I convinced my 4-year-old my middle name is Danger.
Me liking all the back to school pics like pic.twitter.com/nJuv6h1zUU
— The Next Martha (@TheNextMartha) August 15, 2019
Other mom: I start back to school shopping before summer break so we’re prepared and there’s no rush.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) July 29, 2019
Me: Cool. I wait until the last minute so I can freak out and hate myself.
Bet my neighbors are psyched it's back-to-school season so they can once again witness me jogging down the street in hole-y sweatpants holding a sloshing mug of coffee in one hand and a forgotten lunchbox in the other like let's do this
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) September 7, 2018
My son actually said he was ready to go back to school. Apparently I’ve bored him enough.
— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) August 21, 2019
ME:
— Marl (@Marlebean) August 16, 2019
Wow, my bank account is looking good. Maybe I'll get something special for myself.
KIDS' BACK-TO-SCHOOL SUPPLIES:
Hay gurl, hayyy!
No thanks, "30 adorable lunch ideas for back to school."
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 5, 2019
Me: How was your first day of school?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 12, 2019
5-year-old: Okay.
Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better.
5: I have to go back?
My kids don't seem to be as excited as me for the "Back to School Countdown" calendar I created.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 25, 2016
Kindergarten clothes shopping today for my baby girl.
— Matt DePoint (@mattdepoint) August 18, 2019
Say goodbye to all my money! #backtoschool pic.twitter.com/2JyMPf4uoQ
The problem with schools starting at different times across the nation is we get a full month of first day of school pics.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 20, 2015
Aidan
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) September 9, 2016
Aiden
Ayden
Aaidan
Ayeidan
Aidin
Aadan
Aadan P.
Aydenn
Aiidyn
8den
- why every teacher deserves vodka as a back-to-school gift
There is water on the counter after doing dishes. Guess where my kid just set her first day of school forms?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 1, 2019
For all you people posting back to school photos a good 3 weeks before my kids’ school starts HOW NICE FOR YOU😡
— Esther Choo, MD MPH (@choo_ek) August 17, 2018
5-year-old: I'm scared of my first day of school.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 9, 2017
Me: Why?
5: Raptors.
Me: You should be scared of those every day.
Me: First day of middle school! How do you feel?
— Glennon Doyle (@GlennonDoyle) August 13, 2019
Amma: I just keep telling myself that no matter how today goes, it’s almost Christmas.
if i delete my facebook, how will i know if everyone’s kids went back to school?! i’m not a mind reader
— kim monte 🏳️🌈 (@KimmyMonte) August 13, 2018
Hahahahaha kids have to go back to school while we adults get to continue to ponder our impending mortality while trying to keep a roof over our heads and wasting our lives at work!
— Nina (I Stand With the WGA) Bargiel (@slackmistress) August 8, 2018
My son tried to avoid going back to school by running away from me at the bus stop, so I ran in the other direction and now we're both free!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 25, 2019
My 7-year-old had a substitute on the first day of school.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 10, 2017
Teacher burnout started early this year.
Just bought a Costco-sized box of Pop-Tarts but yes plz tell me all about your back-to-school vegan banana nut muffin recipe.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) September 4, 2017
[First day of school]
— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) August 13, 2018
Boy (9): Mom, I got green!
Boy (7): I got a blue light, you start with green but get blue if you’re REALLY GOOD!
ME: Guys that’s amaz-
Boys: *already fist fighting in the back of van*
What wine pairs well with back to school supply shopping?
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 10, 2018
Asking for a friend.
Me last week: When the kids go back to school next week, I'll finally get to clean the house.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) August 17, 2016
Me today: Heyyy, Twitter. 'Sup? Let's hang.
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