Ariana Grande has told fans she’ll be taking a break from dating until the end of 2019, and possibly even longer, following her most recent break-up.
The ‘Thank U, Next’ singer, who was engaged to comedian Pete Davidson, went through a public split in October 2018. She also broke up with Mac Miller, after two years together, in May 2017.
Instead of diving right back into the dating scene at the start of 2019, Grande is taking some time out to focus on herself. Responding to a question: “Who is Ariana dating now?!” on Twitter, she said: “Spoiler for the rest of this year/probably my life: it’s no one.”
Lucy*, 27, from London, tells HuffPost UK she did the same thing for 18 months after she broke up with her ex-boyfriend in June 2017. Immediately after the split, Lucy blamed herself for choosing the wrong man and got straight back into dating new people – but was soon forced to accept she needed a different approach to single life.
“I had a couple more years where I dated men who were completely wrong for me and I felt worthless as a result,” she says. “I couldn’t cope with the negative impact it was having on my mental health. I knew I needed to develop self love.”
Taking time to herself helped Lucy get back into things she enjoyed doing – going to the gym, DJing and travelling. Now, at the start of 2019, she’s more open to dating again.
Giving up dating works for some people, so does that mean everyone should have a break after a long-term relationship?
Psychotherapist Lucy Beresford says it’s not simply beneficial to have some time out, it’s essential. “Only then can you work out who you have become while you’ve been in a relationship, and identify aspects of yourself that might need working on,” she says.
Sex and relationships expert Annabelle Knight agrees: “Taking a break after a break-up is an absolutely brilliant idea – it gives you time to recover and can prevent bad decisions from being made in the form of ‘one last time’ or rebound flings.”
Knight hates the mantra of having to “get under one person to get over another” – she says all that does is provide a momentary distraction. In fact, not only is the re-bound not a long-term solution, but if you are still dealing with the emotional fallout of your relationship, it could even cause long-term damage for you.
“Having a break also allows for any residual negative feelings about your ex to pass,” Knight adds. “You’re less likely to carry emotional baggage into your next partnership if you’ve given yourself enough breathing space.”
So how long should you stay single and not mingling? “This is entirely up to you but I’d recommend [at least] a month, especially if you’re female,” says Knight. “Getting through one entire menstrual cycle is important as it allows you to go through all those hormonal changes and adjust accordingly.”
But there’s no hard and fast rule – Beresford says the time to return to dating is when you’ve learned to love your own company again, and assessed what you want from a new relationship.
This one gon’ last.