Certain things are an inevitability during every series of ‘Big Brother’. There will be bitching. There will be cries of “I’m just telling it like it is” and “at the end of the day”. There will, for some reason, be a task involving all of the housemates getting an electric shock. And there will be some seriously raunchy moments.
Right from the show’s debut in 2000, the ‘BB’ house has been the site of some of the most risqué and boundary-pushing moments in reality TV history, and as the years have rolled on, things have become increasingly more provocative.
Not us, that’s for sure, no matter how hard we’ve tried.
And if you thought the celebrities on ‘CBB’ would be any better then you’d be mistaken - we were still getting over Lee Ryan’s shenanigans from 2014 when Stephen Bear and Chloe Khan arrived on the scene last summer, making headlines with their antics from inside the house (despite the fact he was in a relationship at the time).
Here are just a handful of the most jaw-dropping and x-rated moments from the reality series’ 17-year history…
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Michelle And Stuart Look For Her Ear-Ring Under The Table
Channel 4
After weeks and weeks of flirting, Michelle Bass couldn't take the sexual tension between herself and Stuart Wilson anymore, so she built this den for them, where we can only assume they spent the evening playing Scrabble, practising origami and discussing what they liked best about the rest of their housemates.Oh yeah. And sex.
'Teen Big Brother'
E4
However, Michelle and Stu weren't actually the first couple to consummate their 'romance' within the walls of the 'Big Brother' house. That honour goes to Tommy and Jade, two contestants on the first - and, so far, only - series of 'Teen Big Brother', back in 2003.
'Open It'
Channel 5
And then there were those two words that still strike horror into us even a year later, when Steven Goode lent over to his future bride Kimberly Kisselovich during a frisson in the bedroom, and whispered: "Open it."So. Grim.
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Denise Welch's Pool Party
Channel 5
Denise Welch made the headlines during her time in the 'CBB' house, for a boozy topless jacuzzi session with Frankie Cocozza, much to the surprise of some of her housemates, notably Nicola McLean, who urged the 'Loose Women' presenter to cover up.
Biannca Shows Off Her Moves
Channel 5
Proving you can even make a onesie sexy if you try hard enough, Biannca Lake gave Helen Wood a lap-dance just days after entering the house in 2014, while being serenaded by Zoe Birkett, who belted: 'Look at my bum, I’m gonna show you my butt right now... I’m your stripper tonight, I’m gonna show you my juicy boobs right there'.Stunning.
Ray And His Duvet
Channel 4
'Big Brother 4' wasn't exactly jam-packed with memorable moments, but we do recall the time when Ray decided to relieve his stress with a little bit of self-love, shielded by his duvet in the 'BB' toilet.Sadly we can't find an image that shows this wonderful moment, so here's a photo of the bedroom from that year. Know that one of those duvets was witness to Ray's solo session.
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Sam In The Box Task
Channel 4
But Ray isn't the only housemate to boast about taking matters *ahem* into his own hands.While we mostly remember the infamous box task from 'Big Brother 6' for Science and Derek's arguing, Sam decided that would be the perfect moment for some alone time, which she used to her full advantage...
Shell Does A Spot Of Gardening
Channel 4
Who could forget Shell from 'BB5' mowing the lawn with just a scarf to protect her modesty, having previously claimed she was so bored she wanted to scale the wall in the 'BB' garden?
The 'CBB' X-Rated Task
Channel 5
Lionel Blair in PVC. Yeah.
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Marc O'Neill Puts The House's Tin Foil Supply To Good Use
Channel 5
What happens when you cross a bored exhibitionist with a love of stripping off and a load of tin foil? 'Big Brother' viewers can tell you!
Hughie 'Gets It Everywhere'
Channel 5
We'll never know quite what happened between Ryan and Hughie under the 'Big Brother' duvet, but the former was very unimpressed when Hughie "got it everywhere".
The two are now engaged, so you might say this is a story with a... happy ending.
Chiggy Get Jiggy
Channel 4
Years after leaving the house, Chanelle Hayes admitted that she and her then-boyfriend Ziggy 'It's Not You It's Me' Lichman had sex in the 'BB' shower when they were housemates in the eighth series of the reality show.
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Jade And PJ
Channel 4
As if this infamous raunchy moment wasn't enough, Jade Goody confessed to Davina McCall, shortly after finishing in fourth place in 2002, that she and fellow housemate PJ had gone to third base after spending the night together.
Lee And Jasmine (And Casey)
Channel 5
No one will ever know what truly happened between Lee and his seemingly endless conquests in the 'CBB' house, but after he and Jasmine Waltz disappeared into a toilet together, Jim Davidson famously compared the sound to that of 'whisking an omelette'. Oh dear.
Kinga Gets Better Acquainted With A Wine Bottle
Channel 4
What is there to say really? We still can't quite believe this happened... but it did.
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Makosi Worries She's Pregnant After A Night In The Pool
Channel 4
For years, Makosi was adamant that she and eventual-winner Anthony Hutton had sex during a raunchy night in the 'Big Brother' pool, where they famously both stripped off and snogged fellow housemate Orlaith McAllister.She even went as far as requesting a pregnancy test from producers, although during a reunion with Anthony on 'Ultimate Big Brother', she discovered their tryst in the pool had actually been a bit more... erm... digital than she realised.
Lewis Bloor Shows Us Everything
Channel 5
Summer 2016 brought us what was arguably the raunchiest series of 'Celebrity Big Brother' ever, with Lewis Bloor and Marnie Simpson providing much of the action.
The moment that *ahem* stands out the most, though, was when Lewis emerged from the shower and showed everything, not caring an inch (or more...) for the cameras in the 'CBB' bathroom.
Marco Pierre White Jr Pushes The Boundaries
Rex/Shutterstock
He may have only been in the house for a week, but Marco's 'Big Brother' stint made constant headlines, and it wasn't just for the fact he had a girlfriend on the outside.
He and fellow housemate Laura Carter sparked viewer complaints to Ofcom when she was seen choking him in the 'BB' snug, before they sealed the deal in the bedroom.