This weekend just gone, a Sunday Times undercover sting revealed that if you've got the money, you can meet David Cameron for a cup of tea and a Kit Kat. Of course, whether you decide to snap that Kit Kat into two, to share the chocolatey goodness, well, that's down to their discretion, but I for one, alongside most of us, will never ever have the financial affluence to spend such a vast amount on meeting the leader of our current government, but as I'm feeling charitable, I've found a far more cost-effective alternative.
For just 30 English pounds, or 30,000 pence, if you want to sound flash, you can have your very own life-size cut-out of David Cameron! Your very own prime minister to host your own dinners, conferences and meetings. This is a chance to add an incredible realism to any event you hold - it actually feels like the man is in the room with you too! You can stand shoulder to should with the six foot high Flashman, with no worries of any petty winds or disturbances knocking him off his feet, thanks to heavy duty cardboard.
David Cameron comes to you folded and he is easily assembled. The prime minister is great for mounting to a wall or door, or he can be displayed free standing with the included easel. Decorate any room or party with the leader of our great government, but he's 2D in his policies... unfortunately just printed on one side. But don't worry! Use him time and time again! Not only is he great for hosting your own party conferences but on the weekends it's also great for greeting guests and having photos taken alongside.
There was some discussion about buying this I wasn't keen, having had to put up with something similar 13 years ago, but someone got it anyway, saying that it was totally different to the old one. I'm pleased to say my fears were well unfounded; since being installed in my front room, half of my art supplies have gone, four teddy bears have been made unemployed, a private company has come in and declared that the broken wrestling figures I've got should still be played with, and somebody bulldozed my collection of vinyl because they were too close to my CD collection.
Okay, that might sound like a hindrance, but since installing this in my front room I have not had an unhappy day. Dave's smiling face greets me first thing in the morning and is one of the last things I see at night. I chat to him about my day and imagine what he might be saying back. Sometimes I just hold him, silently, for hours. He is also excellent for deterring burglars. Top marks.
If you're yet convinced, I've also found it to be an ideal replacement Guy for bonfires and also for keeping children away from bonfires. It works as a great decoy for the opposition in PM's Question Time. If you're a keen darts player like I am, he's perfect for target practice. Or if you're a vain sod, it's a wonderful experience, seeing if you are taller than the PM.
So, don't delay. Save on a costly loan to meet the big man for the next best thing instead!