Dry January: 9 Responses For When Someone Asks Why You're Not Drinking

Dry January is here, bringing with it all of the people who want to see your teetotal ways crumble to a pile of dust.

If you’ve already been asked ‘why aren’t you drinking?’ more times than you can shake a stick at, listen up. Here are a selection of hypothetical responses to the boozy bunch who want nothing more than to knock you off the bandwagon.

1. Insult Them

‘Why are you such a d*ck?’

2. Get Cocky

‘I’m so damn fun I don’t need alcohol.’

3. Give Them A Genuine Reason

‘I always told myself it would be easy, so I’m seeing if I can actually do it.’

4. Make Them Feel Silly For Asking

‘What’s it to you?’

5. Change The Subject

‘I bought some new utensils.’

6. Make Them Pity You

‘I’m poor. I spend too much money on alcohol.’

7. Make Them Wish They’d Never Asked

‘Did you know that alcoholism shortens your lifespan by nearly a decade?’

8. Bring It Back To Them

‘Why are you drinking?’

9. Leave

‘Boy, bye.’