According to an online dictionary, the informal definition of stuck is baffled or nonplussed. But if you have ever felt stuck, I’m sure you know that it feels more like living a life that yo-yos between dire frustration and exhausted apathy.
When we realise we are stuck yet choose to do nothing about it, we must accept that we are deciding to be comfortably miserable
In Mel Robbins’ book, Stop Saying You’re Fine, she explains that “stuckness” is a choice. Unlike a crisis, where our life literally changes in a split second and is not within our control; when we realise that we are living groundhog day we have a choice to do something about it. Or not.
How do you know if you’re stuck?
How do you get up in the morning?
Are you a “snoozer”? Do you leave it to the last minute to get out of bed, rushing out of the door with toast hanging from your mouth and your coat half on?
Do you look forward to the day ahead, excited about what it might bring? Or do you start your day thinking about how many hours it is until home time?
When did you last think about your career?
When was the last time you thought about changing your job or taking the next step up the ladder? When was the last time you actively sought to study something new that would move you forward in your career?
Do you spend most of your day surfing the internet, hanging by the coffee machine or mindlessly doing the same old thing until home time?
How’s your relationship?
DINS (Double Income No Sex) seems to be a common problem in relationships of today. Do you feel more room mate than play date?
Do you think about how you make your partner feel? Do you strive to look, feel and act your best around your partner? Have you turned in to a “takeaway and tv” couple?
Do you seek new experiences?
When was the last time you took up a new hobby (and stuck to it?)
When was the last time you identified a skill that you could perfect, that would positively impact your life?
When was the last time you thought about (and acted upon) how you could positively impact someone else’s life?
Feeling stuck can silently creep up on you, but it’s never too late to make a change
The good news is, you can get unstuck. The bad news is it’s likely to be challenging. However let me assure you that the only reason you will rebel against change, is because your current life is a habit. And changing a habit requires commitment and time.
Top tips for getting un-stuck
Start small
Personally, I’m a “big leaper” but for others, taking small steps is the way to change.
- Bored of your job but not ready to leave yet? Go on a course that will provide you with a new skill instead.
- Not looked after your body for the last 10 years but not ready for the gym? Put your earphones on and go walking for 30 minutes every day during your lunch break.
- Not having enough sex but feel uncomfortable “going for it?”. Commit to spending a couple of nights without the TV on; eat a meal together or take up a new hobby and re-ignite the relationship.
- Not sure what you want to do with your life because you’ve done the same thing for so long? Start reading personal development books and implement some simple, new habits.
Ultimately, it all starts with a decision to change. Accepting that a level of discomfort is par for the course is your biggest ally.
As the infamous John Rohn said, “Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change”. Making small changes, that you do daily, has the ability to transform your entire life. Remember, staying stuck is a choice that only ever leads to regret.