Deciding whether to have kids is such a difficult and stressful decision, that it beats any other life-changing choice we have to make.
So say the results from a study which looked at how much angst it causes us when we think about doing ‘the big things’ in life.
Top of the list was deciding to have children, followed by getting married, moving home, learning to drive and retiring.
Other commitments that send our heart-rates soaring include divorce, moving abroad, making GCSE or A-level exam choices or getting a pet.
The study of 2,000 adults found that making decisions such as these often leaves people feeling “anxious”, “terrified” and “old”.
The researchers were surprised by some of the findings, such as the fact that British people take almost the same amount of time to decide on a new car – 13 days – as they do deciding whether or not to end a relationship – 14 days.
Overall, people take an average of 17 days to make a landmark decision – and the age at which we make most of those? 28.
These decisions – from whether or not to have a baby, or whether or not to move – will vary from person to person. For me, deciding to have kids wasn’t tricky.
When I was 28, I started thinking seriously about having a family. I was newly-married and it seemed the logical ‘next step’. Plus, having a child was something I knew I’d always wanted – and thankfully, so did my partner.
Whereas I knew nothing about where I wanted to live, or the baffling rigamarole of getting a mortgage, let alone how to find something affordable in London.
Having a baby was an easier decision altogether than moving house, for me. But I’ve had friends who have experienced the opposite – and who have had to make the painful decision to walk away from a happy relationship because their partner didn’t want children when they did, or vice-versa.
Whatever you end up choosing, the message seems to be: think wisely (for at least 17 days). And if you’re struggling, here are some tips on how to improve your wellbeing and de-stress – because there’s really nothing worse than rushing into one of these big decisions, and regretting it later.