I, and students from Leeds University Union's LGBT Society share our experiences about coming out and explain why there is so much more to live for.
If you haven't heard of the "It Gets Better" project, where have you been for the past year and a half? What started out as a one-off advice video for LGBT youth, in response to a huge increase in the number of teen LGBT suicides due to bullying, has grown into an amazing network of over 30,000 inspiring videos that aims to tell LGBT youth going through challenging times; that life does indeed get better.
As a committee, we decided that we should make our own mark on the project. We had been inspired by some other smaller projects and thought we needed to make something that can act as a flagship for other LGBT societies to follow; and so our project was started...
Life in high school can be a rough ride, especially if you were bullied about your sexuality. I was bullied for having braces, glasses, spots and long hair - (classic geek chic if you ask me, but anyway...). With me coming out rather late (around 17), I was let off fairly lightly on the sexuality front, with only the occasional "fag" or "homo" being spewed by some unfortunate lower members of society. I had to laugh the other day when I saw one of the bullies had a premium Gaydar online dating profile! Just goes to show that some of the homophobes were indeed in denial!
However, for some people, the verbal and sometimes physical bullying is relentless, and this simply gets too much. Just like Amy says in the video, everything is so much more amplified in the small school environment. It's all you know. The larger outside world seems a million miles away, and you are stuck in this bubble that surrounds you and school. But you know what? The ones who bullied you or beat you down have reached their peak of power; and how long did that last? Maybe a year or so? But we were just starting out, we have our whole life ahead of us to reach our true potential which will last for years and years to come. The bubble does burst, and you will realise that the problems at school were insignificant in the grand scheme of life.
A section of our video captures some high school experiences, and watching other people who have been through the same experience is rather cathartic. However our video is not just only about school, it's about inspiring and giving hope to people who can't come to terms with their sexuality, who feel they can't come out to their friends and family, or who feel like they can't live with themselves anymore. By sharing our experiences with others, we aim to show them that they are not alone, and there are lots of people going through the exact same thing. We also felt the need to highlight how university can be the perfect place to come to terms with who you are and to grow on a personal level, not just academically.
When I realised I was gay, it was a scary and isolating experience. I felt like I couldn't tell my friends through fear of rejection and that no one understood me, but I found that one person who I could trust with anything and told them. It was one of the best things I ever did. This advice is echoed by numerous members in the video.
Before I post the video link (if you haven't scrolled down and watched it already!) I would like to thank Alan Holmes for helping me edit everyone's film down to get the perfect cut, and to Ollie Jenkins from the University's marketing department for putting it together. Finally I would also like to thank everyone who took part and for being so open and frank about their experiences. The journey I took with them all through the interview process will be one that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
NB: If you are reading this and feel like you can't live with yourself anymore, I urge you to look at the video and others within the "It Gets Better Project" and seek help. You may not know it yet, but life gets so much better.
Enjoy: