As Kids' Birthday Parties Get Fancier, Other Parents Are Being Asked To Foot The Bill

Is the "pay to play" approach ever justified? ๐ŸŽ‰

Turn up to a kidsโ€™ birthday party and it can be overwhelming just how much effort (and cash) goes into one. Of course we all want our children to enjoy their big day once a year, but have things got too extravagant when parents are actually being charged for their child to party?

One mum revealed on Netmums that sheโ€™d been instructed to pay ยฃ25 for her 10-year-old daughter to attend a friendโ€™s do.โ€œThereโ€™s about 10 of them going and weโ€™ve only been given two days notice,โ€ she wrote. โ€œThe mum messaged me and asked if she could go to which I said yes, she then replied with a price it would cost. Altogether, Iโ€™m going to be expected to pay around ยฃ25.โ€

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The mum didnโ€™t go into details of what she was paying for, but was frustrated she was told about the price after she accepted the invite.

โ€œMaybe this is a done thing but I personally wouldnโ€™t dream of inviting my daughterโ€™s friends to a party and asking for a contribution,โ€ she added. โ€œIf I couldnโ€™t afford for her to do something with that many friends we wouldnโ€™t do it or weโ€™d cut the guest list down. Opinions? Maybe Iโ€™m just being unreasonable.โ€

Other mums commenting on the Netmums thread assured the original poster she wasnโ€™t. โ€œIf I was inviting other kids to go out with my son for his birthday, then I would fully expect to foot the bill,โ€ one mum wrote. โ€œIf it was a case of one child being invited but you were going to take the other as it was somewhere like soft play, then it would be reasonable to pay for that child but as an invited guest, I wouldnโ€™t expect to end up with a bill.โ€

Another agreed, commenting: โ€œThis was my thinking too! Iโ€™ve done huge parties and smaller gathering for my daughters and paid the whole bill every time.โ€

And a mum wrote: โ€œMy sonโ€™s party is tomorrow and the cost is ยฃ18 per child. I would never dream of asking the parents to pay for there child โ€“ thatโ€™s bad in my opinion.โ€

Perhaps itโ€™s unsurprising that parents are asking each other to contribute, given research from Barclays earlier in the year revealed that the average parent will spend nearly ยฃ5,000 on celebrating birthdays during the ages of four and 11. Typically, the research found adults spent ยฃ433.39 on birthday parties and another ยฃ164.65 on presents.

โ€œThe consumerist race to put on ever flashier and more expensive birthday bashes wonโ€™t necessarily make your child happier and it piles on the pressure for the parents.โ€

Siobhan Freegard, founder of ChannelMum.com, said itโ€™s easy to see why some parents might be tempted to charge children to attend. โ€œHowever, itโ€™s missing the point,โ€ she told HuffPost UK. โ€œThe party is about your child and making them happy by celebrating with their friends.

โ€œThe consumerist race to put on ever flashier and more expensive birthday bashes wonโ€™t necessarily make your child happier and it piles on the pressure for the parents. Itโ€™s also teaching kids that we have to spend to be happy, and thatโ€™s not a good lesson for life. If youโ€™ve been invited to a party where you have to pay, itโ€™s your decision whether or not to pay up and go ahead. But most mums and dads arenโ€™t comfortable with it.โ€

Freegard said itโ€™s far better to hold a simple party where you concentrate on the children and put the effort into something they really enjoy. โ€œMoney canโ€™t buy happiness and childrenโ€™s best memories always tend to be something simple theyโ€™ve loved,โ€ she added. โ€œSo letโ€™s end the โ€˜pay to playโ€™ parties and go back to remembering what birthdays are really about.โ€

What do you think? Is it too much to ask parents to foot the bill for your kidsโ€™ birthday party? Let us know in the comments below or email ukparents@huffpost.com.

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