Actor Ryan Reynolds - who has two daughters, James and Ines, with wife Blake Lively - will make you feel that little bit better about the times when the joy of parenting really is lost on you.
Mainly when you have to watch back-to-back episodes of Peppa Pig on two hours sleep.
My kids tried to surprise me for my birthday this morning. I totally heard them coming and snuck out to start a new life somewhere else.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 23, 2017
Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 30, 2017
After this morning's diaper, my daughter finally earned the teardrop tattoo on her face.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 14, 2016
Being a father means responsibility. Not just for your main family, but also the secret one in Denmark nobody knows about.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2016
It's important kids eat 5 servings of vegetables daily. Even if childhood is just a dress-rehearsal for extraordinary adult suffering.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 29, 2016
This morning, my daughter said, "quiche" which means she's smart, hungry and an asshole.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 21, 2016
Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 19, 2016
My daughter love the @MileyCyrus song, "We Can't Stop" because she thinks it's about cutting the brake lines on my car.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 17, 2016
They should call "fighting pits" something else because my baby just plays with the other babies.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 16, 2016
Put the baby down in her crib tonight. She scrunched her nose so cute, giggled, then turned into thousands of bats.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 10, 2016
No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 7, 2016
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 22, 2016
My infant daughter's traumatized for life. 50 Shades of Grey = Worst fucking coloring book ever.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 17, 2016
Totally caved and tossed my daughter the keys to the car. She looked really happy as they bounced off her tiny infant face.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 12, 2016
What's better than a 12 hour drive with a screaming 1 year old? Not including hepatitis.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 2, 2016
Tip: It's important parents take little "time outs" for themselves too. Even if you feel pretty guilty when you return 14 years later.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) May 3, 2016
My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 16, 2016
Love writing nursery rhymes for my daughter. Her favorites are, "Sunshine-Cuddle-Time!" and "Everyone You Know Will Eventually Die."
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) November 11, 2015
Before You Go
