16 Stages Of Picking A Baby Name

Will they hate this?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that picking a baby name is easy, that is until you have to do it for yourself.

All of a sudden parents-to-be are spending weeks on end trawling through an encyclopedia of baby names and looking up their linguistic roots in ancient Greek - it really shouldn’t be this difficult.

These are the 16 stages of the trauma that is, picking a name for your offspring.

1. Being excited at the prospect of finally having a human you can name all by yourself.

2. Feeling 100% confident you can do a better job than your own parents.

3. Quickly learning that this process is actually going to be way more stressful than being pregnant.

4. Thinking you would never have had a baby with your partner if you had known what terrible taste in names they have.

5. Realising how many people you hate who you went to school with.

6. And how many ex-boyfriends or girlfriends you really want to forget.

7. Doing every baby name quiz on the internet.

8. Being tagged in every baby name generator your friends can find on Facebook.

9. Settling on a name and then having your mother-in-law tear it to shreds.

10. Imagining every possible nickname or variation kids could bully your child with.

11. Formulating every combination of initials to check for rude or embarrassing words.

12. Your heart going out to parents who thought they were safe with a name like Isis.

13. Dreading your child hating you forever because you ruined their life with a terrible name.

14. Or a name that no one can pronounce.

15. Giving up and accepting the midwife will judge you when you name them ‘baby’.

16. Wondering how anyone ever has enough energy to come up with a middle name as well.

Whether you’re looking for a name that is ‘cool’, ‘cute’, ‘pretty’, or ‘unique’, our Baby Name Generator is here to inspire you. Discover the meaning of your favourite name, browse the 100 most popular baby girl names and baby boy names in England and Wales, or let our Random Name Generator throw up an unusual suggestion.