Please Stop Asking Google How To Have Sex In A Car, People

Come on, guys, we can do better than this.

When Tim Berners-Lee invented the world wide web he probably had dreams of giving humanity access to unlimited knowledge and the possibility of learning things we’d never imagined.

Unfortunately for him, we cannot be trusted with nice things and most of us are just using search engines to ask questions about our sex lives that we can’t ask our friends or enemies.

New research has found that every month 1,000 Brits ask Google ‘how to have sex in a car’.

That’s right – apparently none of us can just pull up in a lay-by or dirt car park and see what happens anymore. We’re all hoping an algorithm can tell us exactly how to best Tetris human limbs into the back seat of a Ford Fiesta.

Maybe the government should consider some further additions to the new 2020 sex education curriculum?

According to private registration company Click4Reg, which did this all important research, other common queries Brits have about their cars include a whole host of things we should definitely have learned before we were allowed to have driving licenses.

A whopping 4,000 people every month are stumped about ‘how to tax a car’ but the most popular search term, by far, is ‘how to jump start a car’.

We have more time for the 2,900 people every month who want to know how to get cheaper car insurance – they’re the real winners here.

Oh, and for all those Googlers wondering what to listen to on the car stereo when you’re finally getting down to it, we have that covered for you here.