December might be cold, dark and wet, but at least we all have Christmas to keep our spirits up. And if you’ve got a birthday this month, that’s even more of a reason to celebrate... right?
Wrong. The party might be happening but it’s definitely not about you, no one has any money, and everyone tries to palm you off with a joint Christmas-birthday present even though you’ve spent 365 days waiting for this.
Here are the 12 things that’ll definitely happen if you have a Christmas birthday – next year we’re starting a petition to have a second birthday in June.
1. You Get Combined Birthday And Christmas Presents
2. Or, Your Birthday Presents Will Be Wrapped In Festive Paper
3. You Dread The 365-Day Wait To Ask For Presents
4. Everyone Is Too Busy When You Ask Them To Hang Out
5. And No One Has Any Money To Spend On You Anyway
6. All Potential Venues Are Booked Up With Christmas Parties
7. You Eat Cake Alone Because Your Colleagues Are Too Full Of Quality Street
8. You Spend Your Birthday Surrounded By Christmas Decorations
9. It’s Hard To Resist The Rage When Someone Tries To Get You In The Festive Spirit
10. Some People Forget Your Birthday Anyway, Because The 25th Is All That Matters
11. When You Remind Them, They Resent You For Making December About You
12. You End Up Cursing Your Parents For Having Sex In March (Soz)