“Where do babies come from?”
It’s an age-old question kids pose to their parents. And yet it continues to catch grownups off-guard. Fortunately, it’s also rife with potential for humour.
We rounded up 45 funny tweets about parents’ responses to kids’ questions about where babies come from (including a few imagined answers from non-parents). Enjoy!
4: Mommy, where do babies come from?— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) February 11, 2016
Me: Well, sweetie, when two people tolerate each other very much...
when my kids ask where babies come from, I tell them a claw machine. a claw machine full of babies.— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) November 20, 2012
8- “Mom, where do babies come from?”— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) August 10, 2019
Me- “From backrubs honey.”
4: Mommy, where do babies come from?— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) April 12, 2018
Me: Mostly alcohol and poor choices.
"Dad, where do babies come from?"— David Hughes (@david8hughes) December 6, 2014
"Well, son, you know when a man & a woman love each other? [leans in close] well you've ruined that."
Kid: Mom, where do babies come from?— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 27, 2019
Me: *makes internet dial-up noise for 30 minutes*
If you lay down on the floor long enough, your kids will eventually think you're dead & will stop asking where babies come from.— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) December 11, 2014
My 6 year old asked where babies came from.— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) September 18, 2020
I told him the truth.
While I was sitting and basking in my pride at being an Honest Mom, he just stared before saying: “I wasn’t expecting that. That was inappropriate.”
Then: “DID THE DOCTORS WATCH YOU DO IT”
I shoulda lied.
Son: where do babies come from?— The Dad (@thedad) September 27, 2019
Me: well, when a man and a women love each other very much, and there’s nothing they want to watch on Netflix--
My son asked me where babies come from, and to distract him I said "some day we're all going to die."— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) May 15, 2011
5-year-old: Where do babies come from?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 11, 2016
Me: When two people love each other very much, they make a mutual decision to ruin their lives.
Kid: Dad, where do babies come from?— The Untastic Mr. Fitz (@UnFitz) March 19, 2019
Me: You mix baby oil with baby powder. Stir in baby peas. Then you-
Kid: I’m asking mom.
Me: ᵒʰ ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ᵍᵒᵈ
*Googles "where do babies come from?" to make sure I have it correct because I don't think my kid believed my original answer*— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) April 21, 2017
Sorry I told your kid there's no Santa but he asked me where babies come from and I panicked— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) December 4, 2014
My kid is 8. A few months ago she asked me & hubby, not where do babies come from but "How did you get pregnant?" And she stood there....— Reagan Gomez (@ReaganGomez) June 1, 2015
Kid: Mom, where do babies come from?— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 24, 2019
Me: I’ll tell you when you’re older.
Kid: Mom, who is Kim Kardashian?
Me: So, babies happen when a man...
My daughter asked me where babies come from so I distracted her with cake for breakfast.— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) March 20, 2014
3-year-old: Where do babies come from?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 20, 2014
Me: Poor impulse control and dollar store condoms.
3: I’ll ask Mommy.
Me: Good call.
My 4 yr old asked where babies come from & as I started stammering out an answer she clarified she was asking where the FIRST babies came from. And who took care of them. So I just explained sex anyway because it’s easier— Molly Erdman (@erdmanmolly) July 24, 2018
Having kids is fun because when you're already running late, you also need to stop & lie about where babies come from.— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) October 23, 2015
My 8yo: Where do babies come from?— Kathy Cooperman (@Kathy_Cooperman) December 19, 2013
My husband: From mommy's belly?
8yo: ALL the babies??!
Overheard my 6yo telling his grandmother that "babies come from wine", making 3 generations of us who finally figured that out.— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) August 18, 2017
Daddy, where do babies come from?— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) November 4, 2014
Me: New phone. Who dis?
Before he fell asleep, my child asked me how babies are made. I feel as though I deserve all the whiskey for getting through that calmly.— Big Collard Green Energy (@mamaincolour) March 20, 2014
Play a game with me? Type “Babies come from..” then choose the center predictive text to finish your sentence.— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) September 17, 2019
Here’s mine: Babies come from the lake people.
This checks out.
You wannna know where babies come from? Well son, when a mommy & a daddy love each other very much they put down their phones long enough to— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) September 9, 2014
A doctor named Stork so I can tell my next kid that the Stork delivered her.— Marcus A. Stricklin (@marcusthetoken) March 13, 2014
[After my wife explains to our kids where babies come from]— The Dad (@thedad) March 14, 2020
ME: That’s wild.
WIFE: …You knew this.
ME: I know but you get used to it... When you actually think about it again it’s absolutely insane.
My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.— cap’n watsisname (@capnwatsisname) January 19, 2021
Son: Daddy, where do babies come from?— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) July 2, 2019
Me: I don’t know, but when I find out [gritting teeth] I’m shuttin that place down!
Toddler:— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) October 24, 2019
“Babies come from the baby store.”
“That’s funny. Can you give my uterus and cervix the GPS coordinates to this establishment? And a Groupon link?”
*in car*— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 14, 2018
6yo: Mommy, where do babies come from?
Me: Whoa! Look at that hawk!
6yo: What, where?!
Husband: We should talk about the family budget.
Me: Whoa! Look, a sign that says free dirt.
H: What, where?!?
My 7 yo asked where babies come from and I choked. Long story short, now I have to make a wedding dress for the cat.— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) March 15, 2016
[kisses daughter goodnight]— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) February 19, 2015
"Daddy, where do babies come from?"
"Why's it take 9 months?"
Shipping. Go to sleep.
child: where do babies come from— giabuchi lastrassi (@jaboukie) April 17, 2018
me: staying in your hometown after high school
me: our son asked where babies come from— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) August 14, 2020
wife: he’s too young, tell him the stork
me: your mom fucked a stork
My kid asked me where babies come from and I said "Ask your Mom. I'm still trying to figure out why Garfield talks and Odie doesn't"— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) June 19, 2017
1. Hide babies all over house.— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) October 6, 2012
2. If a kid asks, "Where do babies come from?" laugh, "Where DON'T they come from!" and open every cabinet.
I'm glad that my son wants to know where babies come from but he's only 4 -- how could he not remember?— The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) November 23, 2013
Trying to convince my stepson that kids come from Babies-R-Us and we still have his receipt to return him. Stay tuned.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 15, 2014
My daughter asked me where babies come from. I'd like to use my phone-a-friend now.— Dr. Shawn Burns (@BackpackingDad) August 8, 2013
4: Daddy where do babies come from?— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) September 12, 2018
Me: Storks of course.
4: *packing bag*
Me: Where are you going, son?
4: On a journey. To find my real father — the stork.