The Top 20 Funniest Jokes, According To Children

These will take you straight back to childhood.

“Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!”

That’s been voted the funniest joke by a group of more than 2,000 British kids –you cracked a smile, didn’t you? Beano polled thousands of children aged 7-12 years old to reveal their favourite jokes – and it seems the oldies really are the goodies.

While fathers are notorious for their cringe-worthy ‘dad jokes’, almost half (41%) of children chose their dad as the funniest person in their family – while mum was found to tell the worst jokes (26%).

The Top 20 Funniest Jokes, According To Kids:

1. Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!

2. What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesaurus.

3. What did the policeman say to his tummy? Freeze you’re under a vest.

4. Doctor, Doctor! Help, I feel like a pair of curtains! Pull yourself together then.

5. What’s the fastest vegetable? A runner bean!

Guillermo Gonzlez / EyeEm via Getty Images

6. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!

7. What’s brown and sticky? A stick!

8. What do you call a blind deer? No eye deer.

9. Why should you be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs? You might step in a poodle!

10. Do you want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

11. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!

12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? No need to cry, it’s only me!

13. What happens when an egg hears a joke? It cracks up!

14. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Two-thirty!

15. What’s black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill.

16. Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies!

17. Doctor! Doctor! I keep seeing spinning insects! Don’t worry, there’s a bug going round.

18. What do you call a tiger at the North Pole? Lost!

19. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!

20. How do footballers stay cool? They sit down next to their fans!

Two-thirds of kids (67%) said they hear the best jokes in the classroom and playground, and nine in 10 (90%) said kids are funnier than adults.

The research was commissioned to celebrate the launch of Beano’s national joke competition to find the funniest class in Britain. Primary schools across the UK can submit their entries from 1 April 2019 online.

Close